Episode Report Card
Demian: D+ | 5 USERS: B+
The Hardy Boys Go Viral

Outside, Dean hops into the Impala to peel off into the ground-hugging mist as a pair of overly concerned extras eye his exit.

The camera leaps ahead on the road to Sidewinder to take in the license plate affixed to the front of a late-model Ford blocking one half of the two-lane blacktop before climbing above the hood to pan over the blood-spattered and gunshot-riddled windshield. The license plate's number, by the way, begins with "WTF," which must be deliberate, seeing as how the sentiment might be applied to any number of elements littering tonight's presentation. In any event, Metallicar rumbles up behind the Ford Focus Of Death, and Dean keys off the ignition to evaluate the situation, surreptitiously drawing a sawed-off shotgun from the front seat to aid in his investigation. He eases past an infant's bloodstained car seat in the rear before finding two far larger puddles of gore soaking into the driver's and passenger's up front. The driver's-side window's been smashed in, too, just so you know. Dean then stupidly -- STUPIDLY -- squats down to retrieve a bloody knife from the pavement, like, did you learn nothing in Baltimore about the dangers of littering crime scenes with your own fingerprints, Dean? He doesn't answer me, because he is a fake person on the television set. Rather, he warily eyes the quiet woods around him as the camera cuts back over to...

...Dead Papa Tanner's tiny little rapidly cooling corpse, neatly laid out on a gurney in the town clinic. Sam glances at it curiously while the good Doctor Lee bends over a German-made microscope to examine a sample of the tiny little rapidly cooling corpse's blood. She spots fuzzy yellow flecks clinging to his red blood cells, and offers us all a "Huh!" "What?" Sam asks on the audience's behalf. "His lymphocyte percentage is pretty high," Doctor Lee reveals, before explaining that bit of information as, "His body was fighting off a viral infection." Sam wonders if a viral infection could cause so rapid and drastic an alteration in behavior. Doctor Lee's forced to admit this is the first she's ever heard of anything like it, and what's more, there's this strange, foreign substance clinging to the individual cells. "If I didn't know better," she frowns, "I'd say it was sulfur." Sam's eyebrows choose not to perform The Devilish Dance Of The Demonic DUN! this time around, but under the circumstances, it would have been most appropriate.

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