Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: B+ | 1 USERS: A
Acqua di Hardy Boys

The Metallicar chugs ups to the Death Cabin. Even though everything in the episode so far made it seem like the lake was behind the cabin, Dean turns away from the cabin and looks out across the lake to see Carlton puttering along in a rusty old motorboat. Timpani of Winchester Athleticism accompanies the boys as they hustle toward the shore, their man coats flapping in the breeze. They are both yelling, and we cut between them yelling and Carlton's perspective of their yelling overpowerd by the sound of the motor, which turns them both into the "wah wah wah wah" teacher from "Peanuts." Which I, of course, enjoy. Carlton continues to putter along...when suddenly! his boat! flies! up! into! the! air! Actually, the occurrence does not really deserve six exclamation points, just a notation that it was vaguely surprising. The boys, for their part, also look on in sort of vague surprise. Metal Teeth Chomp.

In the Rangerpolice Station, Andrea sits with a bucket of fried chicken in her lap, tending to her child. She greets Sam and Dean, as they walk in with her father, who is surprised she knows them on a "first-name basis." Mister, you don't even want to know who your bucket-o'-lap-chicken freak daughter is on first name bases with. Lucas sits and rocks back and forth while Andrea asks her father about what happened to Carlton. Lucas whimpers and tries to run out of the room; Dean tells him "it's okay," which seems to really get through to the traumatized kid. Wonder why nobody thought of that approach before? Andrea leads her still upset but calmed down child out of the station.

Rangerpoliceman goes over Sam and Dean's story, of which he is tremendously incredulous. They've told him something attacked Carlton's boat, sent him into the water, and they never saw him again. Rangerpoliceman doesn't believe them for a few reasons: Carlton is a good swimmer, he's "sonar swept" the lake (already?), and Sam and Dean aren't really employed by the federal government. "That's right. I checked." The boys look surprised, even though they've done nothing since they initially introduced themselves as USFWS to maintain the illusion that they are employed by the government. Rangerpoliceman basically tells the cads to shut it, and that the only reason he hasn't arrested them yet is because a neighbor saw Carlton take the boat out, too. He continues on, turning into a real bad-ass dad, telling the boys they have two options. He either arrests them for impersonating federal officers, or they get in their car and leave town, and "never darken my doorstep again." The camera slowly pans in on each man's face as Rangerpoliceman gives them this fatherly talking-to, and Sam finally says, "Door number two sounds good." Rangerpoliceman replies, sternly, "That's the one I'd pick." Now THAT'S the way you act the stern dad, if you ask me. John Winchester, we'll find, is quote-unquote stern, with the emphasis on the quote. And also a little emphasis on the "Good-For-Nothing Piece of Crap Whose Cranky Face Was Misinterpreted By His Vulnerable Sons as Heroic."

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