Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: C | 2 USERS: B
The Hardy Boys Meet The Lost Boys

Commercials. In a dark room, both Sam and Dean sleep in their clothes, while their father stays up listening to the police scanner. Daddy wakes them up harshly and says they've got to go because someone called in about finding a body in the street, but when the cops got there everyone was gone. He's sure it's the vampires, and when Sam asks how he knows he snaps, "Just follow me, okay?" Hate. Seemingly now it's early morning, and the boys wait off to the side while their father talks to the cops at the scene of the missing crime. Would there be this much police presence for what would most likely seem to be a crank 911 call? Sam mutters that he doesn't see why they weren't allowed to go talk to the cops, too, and Dean tells him not to start. Daddy returns to them, sure it's the vampires. He's all Hans Gruber-y issuing orders about how they've got to get around the detour, but Sam interrupts and demands to know how his dad is so sure this is the work of vampires. Apparently, John Winchester has fast-forwarded through Sam's favorite part of each week -- the tortured exposition of various monster myths -- and he's throwing a tantrum about it. Daddy at first refuses to countenance his son's request, just telling him that he knows, making Sam demand again to know how he knows, and then AssDad whips something out of his pocket and says "I found this" and hands it to Dean. Dean observes, "It's a vampire fang," and Daddy wanks, "No fangs, teeth. The second set descend when they attack." OH MY GOD SHUT UP. So, not only does this douche refuse to give them a very simple piece of information, instead forcing them to beg for it, he also then purposefully waits for one of them to get a detail wrong so he can correct him. As Sars would say: "Haaaaate."

Daddy says something about losing daylight, which doesn't make sense, since the 911 call was made at night and they presumably motored right out there. They move to get into their cars, and Daddy bitches at Dean about touching up the car so it doesn't rust: "I wouldn't have given you the damn thing if I thought you'd ruin it." Then, a shared look between the boys that they just nail, Sam looking at Dean incredulously, and Dean trying to shrug at his Dad's dickishness but obviously feeling the remark a bit more deeply than he's letting on. AssDad peels around a corner in his AssTruck (no more MetalliTruck, since he's turned so assy) while Dean and Sam follow in the Metallicar. Dean reads some sort of informational brochure on vampires, saying aloud that vampires keep their victims alive in their nests for days or weeks, bleeding them, and guessing that this is what happened to the 911 couple. Sam agrees that their Dad is probably thinking that, but again mutters that "it'd be nice if he just told us what he was thinking." Dean notices the big, fat elephant -- Sam's hate for their father -- squeezed into the tiny car between them, and says, "We've been looking for Dad all year" -- don't I know it! -- "we're with him not more than a coupla hours and there's static already?" Sam responds that he hates how AssDad treats them like kids and keeps them in some "need-to-know deal." Dean tries to defend their dad, saying that their "job" is too important to spend time debating things, but when Sam asks if he's okay with all this, whether he's "cool with just falling into line and letting him run the show," Dean falters, and we know two things: 1) Dean is not okay with it and 2) Daddy must die because of this. Dean squeaks out a lame "If that's what it takes" but nobody is convinced.

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