Devil May Care

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B- | 92 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Become Dungeon Masters

Queen Demon has apparently been teaching her moves to the new minions, because Sam is disarmed in much the same way. There's no flirting, though, and the minion tosses all five yards of Sam's considerable frame over the counter. The other minion shows up just then, all smiles. "Cool! I didn't miss the best part!" I wonder which of them used to be Granny?

Abaddon still has Dean on his knees. "I so appreciate you boys coming when I call," she says. She twists his arm some more. Something crunches audibly and Dean winces. As quickly as he appears to heal, he can't be too worried about a dislocated limb. "That's what I like most about you Winchesters," she coos, running her perfectly manicured fingers through Dean's hair. "So obedient and suicidally stupid," she goes on. Hey, they've been trying to kill themselves for eight years and it hasn't stuck yet; can you blame them for being a little nonchalant about it? She gives him such a sweet look that Dean has to ask, "Are we gonna fight or make out?" Finally, she gets down to business. "I want Crowley, or what's left of him," she says. "What's in it for me?" he asks. "I let you die," she says. Good luck with that, sister. "And if I tell you to get bent?" he wonders. She runs her hand down the side of his face to his chest. "You know, I've loved this body since the moment I first saw it." She wants to take possession of that fine bod. "So go ahead and play hard to get, and I'll peel off this 'no demons allowed' tattoo, and blow smoke up your ass." Abaddean? Bring it on. Dean is not as thrilled with the prospect as I am, however. "Between you and me, it's a horror show up there," he says of his coveted derriere. All that greasy road food, the nearly infinite hours of driving... he probably does have a hideously impressive array of hemorrhoids. Just keep that in mind the next time he's looking super intense behind the wheel.

But Abaddon is not deterred. "Have you ever felt an infant's blood drip down your chin?" she asks. Guessing "no" on that one. "Or listened to a girl scream as you rip her guts out?" Dean's all out of jokes now. He looks genuinely scared. This isn't some Crowley level jokester he's dealing with, nor even a Lucifer, who, despite the considerable powers at his disposal, seemed to wield whining with the most gusto. What we have here, kiddos, appears to be an actual badass baddie. Please, show, do not screw this up with the easy misogyny on which you rely far too often. Abaddon caresses that artfully stubbled face and promises him the time of his life.

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