Devil May Care

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B- | 92 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Become Dungeon Masters

Three young sailors chitchat as they leave their Naval base for a weekend of fun and relaxation. Little do they know that the bus they then decide to take is already occupied by three demons. How perfect is that? Three demons, three sailors... nobody gets left out! The sailors barely have a moment to freak out before the bus fills with roiling black smoke. Nobody seems to notice this from the outside. In the driver's seat, Abaddon turns back to look at her minions with an approving smile. "Now that is more like it!"

The camera pans across an empty stretch of road to where a young lady is trying to figure out what's wrong with her vintage VW Beetle. This involves a lot of bending over the engine while wearing low-slung shorts that just barely cover her butt. Now, why is it, in all the times that we've seen Dean fussing over the Impala, we have never seen him do so in booty shorts? Some sleazeball guy in an equally sleazy van rolls to a stop beside our would-be auto mechanic. "Need some help?" he asks. "Um, yeah, I think the thingy broke," the young lady says, batting her eyelashes. "I could give you a lift into town," the sleazeball offers. "That would be amazing," the young lady says. As she hops into the van, the sleazeball grows out his vampire teeth. Next thing you know, the van's rocking back and forth and moaning voices can be heard coming from within. A moment after that, blood sprays across the inside of the windshield. When the door opens, the vampire's headless body slumps out and his killer emerges still holding the bloody machete in her hand. She smiles with the satisfaction of a job well done, then turns to see one of the sailors standing in her way. "Nice hunting," he says. Another sailor pops up behind her and pulls a bag over her head.

The Winchesters drive from Kansas to San Diego in record time, arriving on the scene of Abaddon's meat suit shopping trip while authorities are still documenting the evidence. The vacated meat suits still sit on the bus, looking a bit worse for the wear. "This place reeks of sulfur," Sam notes. Dean finds the military officer in charge and flashes one of his fake badges at her. "Agents Stark and Banner, we're with the FBI," he says. She should probably point out that their Avengers aliases are painfully obvious, but she doesn't. "This is a military case, not a federal one," she says. "That's not what our supervisor says," Sam tells her. When she wants to speak with this supervisor, Dean rings up Kevin back at the LOL. "This is Sergeant Miranda Bates," the officer says when Dean hands her the phone. "Who am I talking to?" Kevin scrambles for a name and comes up with "Kevin Solo." While she takes him to task for his obvious and terrible pranking, Kevin gets busy looking her up online. He finds a rather tame-sounding photo of her doing body shots on vacation and threatens to send it to her commanding officer. In real life, her CO would probably be like, "Glad you had so much fun on vacay!" But on Supernatural, a mildly naughty picture is an even bigger threat to her career than letting two fake FBI agents take over her crime scene, or telling anyone that a military computer had been hacked. Oh, show. Sacrificing common sense in order to make a character look better. Will you never change?

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