Episode Report Card
Demian: A | 4 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Try Not To Drop The Soap

Elsewhere, in a currently occupied wing of the facility, the camera tracks low across various sets of bars until it cross-fades to arrive inside one particular cell. An institutional-grade electric clock loudly ticks away the seconds in the background as the orange-jumpsuited inmate within pages through a paperback whose title is obscured. The camera eventually pans up on his face, and it's Jeff Kober, a Hey! It's That Guy! who specializes in portrayals of the criminal element, likely due to the fact that he's been blessed with a face that looks like it was slammed in a cell door one too many times. Barely are we able to register Jeff's delight with what he's reading before the lights in both his cell and the corridor outside begin to buzz and blink and flicker on and off. Uh-oh. Jeff rises from his bunk to investigate, and as he presses his face against the small, barred square in his door to peer out into the hallway, the institutional-grade electric clock ominously slows in its raucous ticking until the second hand grinds to a complete stop. DUN! Again! Some more! As Jeff squints in puzzlement up at the clock, a blur of ghastly grey shoots past his face to continue down the hall. Jeff, hitching his breath in a rapidly increasing panic, latches onto his door's bars and starts shouting up at the security camera suspended from the ceiling. "Hey, guard!"

The shot cuts quickly over to the guard's station, where the quadrant occupied by Jeff's camera on the monitor starts buzzing and blinking and flickering on and off. The goateed guard in charge of B Block this evening at long last looks up from his dinner to notice the screwed-up video feed, and leans over to adjust the volume so we might all hear Jeff's increasingly anxious cries for help. The guard rolls his eyes, informs...whomever via the two-way radio clipped to his shoulder that he's heading off to deal with "Randall, again," and wearily shoves himself to his feet.

Back down on B Block, Randall keeps shouting for help above the angry howls for silence coming from his fellow inmates in the other cells until The Goatee slams his nightstick against the bars on Randall's door, nearly smashing Randall's fingers in the process. "Cool it," growls The Goatee. "Cool it, my ass," Randall snaps back. "There's somebody out there." The Goatee's having none of it and orders Randall back to his bunk immediately. Randall, who's clearly dealt with this particularly unpleasant guard before and who's clearly not in the mood to deal with him again, stifles his reservations and protestations to obey. The moment Randall's down, The Goatee mutters an order into his radio for lights-out in the B Block corridor. Once his partner in the booth has complied, The Goatee offers the inmates a rather snottily toned, "Good night, ladies!" and heads for the exit. As the camera tracks around his head, following his progress, a rat's nest of scraggly grey hair suddenly appears in the frame behind him. The Goatee, oblivious, continues on his way for a moment, then, sensing something, pauses and turns to empty corridor! The Goatee shrugs off his momentary unease and is halfway through the block's exit gate when his breath unexpectedly streams out in front of his face from his mouth. He turns to glance behind himself once again, still halfway through that gate, and it's then that the unearthly and unseen entity slams the gate shut on The Goatee's arm with nearly enough force to take the damn thing off at the shoulder. As it is, though, The Goatee's caught like a rat in a trap, and as the inmates down the block grow audibly restless above The Goatee's howls of anguish, the camera swings around to The Entity's perspective to advance upon its victim. And while we never see The Entity during this sequence, it's now most certainly visible to The Goatee, whose screams increase in volume and intensity as he ever more frantically attempts to free himself from the gate, and as The Goatee's wails echo through the cell block, the camera tracks down the wall to land on Randall's face as he vainly attempts to see what's going on. And just as The Goatee's howls crescendo, everything falls into the METAL TEETH CHOMP!

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