Episode Report Card
Demian: C+ | 6 USERS: A
The Hardy Boys Get Snuggly, Hugly, Mean and Ugly

Maine. Aftermath. Dean and Castiel motor through the Raphael-induced blackness, with My Sweet Baboo looking slightly troubled. "You okay?" Dean asks. Castiel remains silent. "Look," Dean begins, giving conversation another try, "I'll be the first to tell you this little crusade of yours is nuts, but I do know a little something about missing fathers." Which is why, at very long last, you're motoring to the nearest available brothel to begin your proper life of whoring? Oh, I'm kidding. A tad. And only a tad, mainly because I am a selfish bitch, and if Dashing El Deano is going to drag Sucky John into this dismal episode at this point, I want Dashing El Deano naked while he's doing it. Is that too much to ask? "[Hic!]" Thanks, Raoul. Long story short, Dean gifts Castiel with a pep talk that parallels Castiel's search for God with Dean's first-season search for Sucky John, and Castiel, at least, feels better because of it. Then Castiel, attempting foxhole camaraderie in kind, wonders how Dean is feeling at the moment, and the LYING LIAR WHO LIES unleashes a torrential stream of bullshit so rancid, even My Sweet Patient Baboo finds himself forced to flee the Impala's interior, just to escape the stench. Basically, Dean LIES that, now that he's completely severed ties to his family, he's deliriously happy for the first time in his life, and it's at that point that Castiel silently flutters off in that wonderful way of his, leaving the LIAR to his loathsome lonesome loneliness alone. Did I mention Dean is by himself at the end of the episode? "[Hic!]" Good.

Oklahoma. Sleepytime Sammy suddenly snaps awake and rolls over to find Lucifer-In-Jessica once more occupying the other half of the bed. Unfortunately, this time around Sam's wearing a grey v-necked t-shirt. Fortunately, this time around he snuggles close to nuzzle Lucifer-In-Jessica's neck, and hooray! Sammy's got a boy-friend! Sammy's got a boy-friend! Believe it or not, I was a little worried Sam would be left behind on his own now that Dean and Castiel are such a hot item, but thankfully, Our Dear Ginormotron's finally landed an angel of his very own, too. In any event, Lucifer-In-Jessica picks up their conversation much where she'd left it at the top of the hour, whispering something unpleasant about the futility of Sam running from his true nature, which leads Sam to bolt upright in bed and spin away from her to counter, "You're wrong! People can change -- there is reason for hope!" "No, Sam," Lucifer-In-Jessica gently sighs, stroking Sam's hair as he does so, "there isn't." And with that, Lucifer allows a veil of flame to burn away Jessica's false image, and before we know it, Mark Pellegrino's sitting there on the bed behind Sam, the same compassionate expression on his face that Adrianne Palicki wore on hers as she delivered her last line, and I can't decide if it's satanically creepy or angelically romantic or both. Probably both. Sigh. Now would be a good time to have a recapping companion who's not passed out in his overstuffed armchair. "[Hic!]" Yeah, cram it, flagon breath.

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