Episode Report Card
Demian: B | 5 USERS: A
A Fistful Of Hardy Boys

We return from this evening's first CHOMP!-less commercial break to find the sheriff surveying Judge Mortimer's remains, with Diseased Darla loudly insisting they were attacked by a ghost. Long story short, the sheriff dismisses this claim, announces his intention to form a posse to hunt down and kill Elias Finch, and invites the boys along for the party as long as the latter equip themselves first with some proper gear. He exits, and Sam and Dean decide to visit Finch's grave. "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" My sentiments exactly, hon, though oddly enough, this boredom I feel is not sending me into paroxysms of rage. Maybe it's because Glee sucked so much this week that this episode seems perfectly fine by comparison. "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" Okay, okay, I'll keep it moving.

Out in the town's boneyard, Our Intrepid Heroes find what remains of Finch's shattered coffin and eventually realize what the audience has known since Radioactive Ted fried Judge Mortimer. They quickly agree to split up, with Sam riding off to fetch The Illustrious Mr. Colt and his Fucking Gun That Can Kill Anything Except When It Usually Can't while Dean remains in town to hook up with the sheriff's posse. "'Cause you know me," Dean grins. "I'm a posse magnet." Sam squints. "I mean," Dean continues, "I love posse!" Sam unleashes a magnificent bitchface and chides, "You done?" Dean looks suitably abashed for all of three seconds before grinning again, and God help me, but it's the most adorable thing I've seen on TV in months. And once that bit of business is done, Sam and Dean head over to the town's stables, where they trade a Rolex for a horse. Just go with it. There's another bit of business surrounding the amusing image of The Ginormotron saddling up, and after Sam takes off into the night, the scene cuts over to the... jail, where we find the sheriff loading a horse of his own with a couple of saddlebags while Radioactive Ted eyes him from the gloomy shadows of a nearby porch. Finch's mere presence seems to spook the animal, and it starts whinnying and kicking up its hind legs before galloping away, leaving the sheriff alone with Radioactive Ted, the latter of whom strides down from that porch, stripping off one of his gloves as he goes. The sheriff fires two totally ineffective rounds into Finch's chest before begging for his life, but Radioactive Ted's not having it, and he throws the sheriff into a flesh-searing chokehold that quickly reduces the sheriff -- and his clothing, by the by -- to a pile of bony ash.

Back in the present, My Sweet Baboo stands alone in an abandoned warehouse until his lieutenant, Rachel, comes fluttering in behind him, and while I'm sure that the conversation that follows will gain importance the closer we get to the season finale, it's all too vague for me to bother with a transcription right now, so let's cut to the chase: Rachel accuses Castiel of certain never-specified transgressions, Castiel insists he's had little choice but to act as he has, Rachel whines something about feeling betrayed, and then they whip out their Angel-Smiting Scimitars to go at it. "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" Yep, even the knife fight is dull, especially because we all know there's no way in hell she's ever going to win it, even if she does manage to nick My Sweet Baboo in his dear little chest. Castiel eventually drives his blade into her heart, and the screen bleaches out white for a bit before the camera does its usual spinny thing above her corpse, drawing itself ever back and ever up, the better to show us all the massive scorch marks left by Rachel's immolated wings. Castiel murmurs his apologies to Dead Rachel, examines his glowing chest wound, and flutters over to...

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