Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: D+ | 11 USERS: B-
The Hardy Boys' Sympathy For The Devil, Part II

Uriel laughs. "Nah, there's more." He circles Dean and looks him over. Please don't go there, Show. "You cut yourself a slice of angel food cake, didn't you? Huh? You did!"

Dean's teeth are set on edge. "What do you care? You're junkless down there, right? Like a Ken doll." Actually Dean, not to be all Get a sound hermeneutic, will you, but while I get why you may think that, there's a good chance you're laboring under an exegetical fallacy. Compare it to earlier canon. Cindy's hermeneutical guidelines; point the first: context is everything/scripture interprets scripture/make sure your exegesis maintains Biblical harmony. Cindy's hermeneutical guidelines; point the second: stop talking about hermeneutics in the Supernatural recap, even when the episode is crap.

So where were we? Oh, yeah, Dean just attacked the manhood of a creature who isn't a man in the first place. Uriel waves his hands in the intergalactic, inter-dimensional, inter-species gesture of Ouch, you got me. He tells Dean it's his last chance to give them Anna and starts to issue a threat, but Dean cuts him off. "What? Are you going to toss me back in the hole? You're bluffing." Uriel tells him to try him -- this deal with Anna is a lot bigger than the plans they have for Dean -- he can be replaced. Dean licks his (own!) lips then presses them together. "What the Hell." He lifts his hands out from his side, to show he's unarmed. "Go ahead and do it."

Uriel approaches him. "You're just crazy enough to go, aren't you?" Uriel, 1: you don't know the half of it. 2: Is that EMOTION I DETECT ON YOUR FACE?

"What can I say? I don't break easy."

Uriel raises an eyebrow as a small smile creeps across his mouth. "Oh yes..." He circles Dean, once again. From behind him, he says, "You do. You just got to know where to apply the right pressure." Dean looks out of the corner of his eyes, and seems surprised that Uriel knows this information -- which makes no sense at all -- because Anna told him she knows what he did in Hell based on the conversations she intercepted via W-A-N-G.

There's a piercing scream, but it isn't coming from me. I know! It's coming from poor, poor Ruby. Or should I say poor, poor Genevieve Cortese, who is being treated like the stunt double in bondage porn, by our valiant show-runner. Shame on you, Kripke. She's bound to some table in what looks to be a filthy, abandoned rest room, which probably would have been a suitable destination for this script. At least you could try to flush it, there. Her hands are outstretched and bound. Her mouth is bound by a wide leather band, so it's not really clear how she was able to scream quite so loudly, but if you're looking for sense, you're watching the wrong part of this two-parter. Her bare breasts are bound by a similar band, as are her ankles. She's bleeding all over the place, and not just from listening to poor man's Brando who is trying to morph into a cut rate Hannibal Lector, although that probably is what has turned Ruby's eyes black. He blathers on about the lack of patience and craftsmanship manifest in Ruby's generation, but praises her Knife That Hasn't Even Killed Her While Carving Her UP (See How Far It Has Fallen), as an exquisite piece. I'm not going to transcribe his taunting, but that's all it is -- taunting and horn-tooting. I'm also not going to transcribe his actions, because although I'm sure Raoul, bless him, is gobbling up the gore with a spoon in an early Dragon Thanksgiving, I'm pissed at Kripke for objectifying and fetishizing Cortese to this extreme. Suffice it to say he's doing some more cutting, just out of view, and Ruby is crying all the time. He finally removes the mouth band, but only on the condition that she won't "smoke out" of her current meatsuit. He demands to know where the angel is, but Ruby won't tell him, because she knows if she does, he'll kill her. Instead, she agrees to take him to Anna. Alastair laughs and the D.P. makes sure we get one final shot of poor Cortese's heaving, bound bosom. I take a long long shower, but I can't quite feel clean, so let's move on. We cut to...

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