Hello, Cruel World

Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | 3 USERS: A
Did You Know The Hardy Boys Are Utterly Insane?

Meanwhile, Real Dean's tracked Sam to the latter's current location, and he arrives at the warehouse just in time to kick-start some serious psychodrama between himself and the voices yammering away deep inside his batshit brother's insane head. And when Lucifer tosses off an especially snide remark from his side of the room, Crazy Sam frantically squeezes off a round that elicits this scene's one funny line: "This discussion does not require a weapons discharge!" Real Dean howls. Hee. Eventually, Our Intrepid Heroes settle down to chat at each other -- AGAIN, SOME MORE -- and just when I think Dean's going to save Sam through some Power Of Brotherly Love bullshit, he grabs Sam's sliced-up paw and jams his thumb into the wound. The searing shock of pain temporarily overrides Crazy Sam's ongoing hallucination, and Lucifer buzzes and blinks and flickers in and out before reforming to taunt at Crazy Sam some more. Crazy Sam realizes his brother's on to something, and he pulls back his sliced-up mitt to jam his own thumb into the wound, this time with such force that blood starts seeping out through the gauze. The Lucifer hallucination puts up a valiant fight, but it eventually flickers out for good. "Hmph!" pouts Raoul. "I liked him!" Not to worry, my faithful recapping companion -- I'm sure he'll be back. "Really?!" Really. "Hooray!"

And when that's all over with, Bobby rings Sam on the latter's cell from his speeding automobile to impart the following words of sheer panic: "I double-barreled one of 'em in the morgue! Silver buckshot! No effect! We're screeeeeeeewed!" Okay, so maybe I made that last bit up. Bobby promises to meet them back at The Emporium so they can all piss their pants together, so Our Intrepid Heroes hop into the Impala and zip back to The Emporium, but what's this? "Oh, no!" Dean breathes as they pull into the yard, and Dean can say that again, because at some point during the last five minutes, someone firebombed The Emporium all the way to hell and back. "Eeek!" shrieks Raoul, a distressed yet elegantly manicured paw clutching at his nonexistent pearls. And as if to underscore the enormity of this shocking -- shocking! -- development, Our Intrepid Heroes vanish into this evening's final commercial break most solemnly CHOMP!-less.

Emporium. Aftermath. Dean emerges from The Emporium's charred ruins to toss a still-smoldering volume of irreplaceable lore at Sam's feet. "Any sign of him?" Sam frets. Dean doesn't even bother to answer, and the two trudge off to the car lot to continue their frantic search with Dean positively simmering with rage. "That place was torched," he seethes. "Somebody knew what they were doing." He directs Sam off-camera somewhere and, once his brother's out of earshot, whips out his cell to dial Bobby's private voice mail. "You cannot be in that crater back there!" Dean rants into his phone. "If you're gone," he continues, "I swear I am going to strap my Beautiful Mind brother into the car, and I'm gonna drive us off the pier!" "You asked me how I was doing?" he asks, referencing an earlier conversation I didn't bother to transcribe. "Well, not good!" "You said you'd be here!" Dean protests, practically tearing up thanks to the near-overwhelming amounts of anxiety and dread now pummeling his head. "Where are you?" Of course, Bobby's voice mail has no answer for that one, so Dean eventually shuts his cell and -- after taking a quick second to compose himself -- trots over towards the sound of Sam's voice, which hasn't stopped shouting "Bobby!" this entire time.

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