Hello, Cruel World

Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | 3 USERS: A
Did You Know The Hardy Boys Are Utterly Insane?

Back from the break, the camera fades up on the fa├žade of "Sioux Falls General Hospital" before ducking inside to one of the recovery suites, where it finds Sheriff Jody Mills listlessly listening to her mouthy roommate, who's deep in the middle of a paranoid, scare-mongering rant about medical malpractice when she's suddenly interrupted by the arrival of "Doctor Gaines," and long story short, Sheriff Jody's recovering from an emergency appendectomy, so she's going to be quite seriously whacked out on painkillers during the hijinks that are certain to rear their ugly heads at some point later this evening. "Did you know a study showed three-quarters of doctors cheat on their exams?" the mouthy roommate alleges the instant good Doctor Gaines has left the room. "He might not know your appendix from your vagina." Yeah, she'll definitely be dead before the next commercial break. "Whee!"

Emporium. Dean returns from the outside world with an armload of groceries just in time to receive word via Sam, via the Internet of the recent dastardly goings-on in the Stockville High locker room. As Bobby's busy "running the hub," and as Sam himself is "5150'd," it falls to Dean to investigate this one on his own.

Stockville. We arrive to find that the bored little nightmare of a preadolescent horror sullenly propelling herself back and forth on a playground swing, and... "EEEEEEEP!" Sigh. Anyway, that nondescript middle-aged gent from earlier walks up and observes, "You got yourself an awfully small body." "Too small," the bored little nightmare of a preadolescent horror sulks. "She didn't know anything!" The nondescript middle-aged gent takes a seat on the next swing over and exposits that his host, "Edgar," worked on a demolitions crew. "Watching things blow up is apparently very satisfying," Leviathan Edgar notes. I'll say. For her part, the bored little nightmare of a preadolescent horror reveals that "Annie" "knew where babies came from." "Disgusting," Leviathan Annie grimaces before announcing she's hungry. "We all are," she adds, finally turning to scowl at Levedgar. "'Levedgar'!?" I thought you were paralytic with fear, houseguest, and besides, you know what the hell I mean. "Yes, of course! But 'Levedgar'?!" Okay, fine: I'll keep typing "Leviathan" over and over and over again until I'm ready to throttle every last idiot responsible for this goddamned mess. Happy? "EEEEEEEP!" God, I really hate you sometimes, Raoul.

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