Hello, Cruel World

Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | 3 USERS: A
Did You Know The Hardy Boys Are Utterly Insane?

"My surgeon is a monster!" Sheriff Jody pants the second Bobby answers. The camera's cut back over to the hospital, where the imperiled sheriff has slumped to the floor beside her bed. "He took my windbag roomie," Sheriff Jody breathlessly continues, "and he ate her liver!" "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" "Please," she pleads, by now on the verge of unconsciousness thanks to all of the drugs flooding her system, "get your ass here to Sioux Falls General before he eats me!" Bobby has little choice but to leave Sam in The Emporium on his own, much to Lucifer's delight.

Meanwhile, back at the hospital, Leviathan Edgar approaches the admissions desk with the two Leviathanically-enhanced Stockville High swimmers and demands to see Doctor Leviathan, and this "Leviathan" shit is beyond annoying at this point, so I'm dropping it, now. "Okay!" Thanks for being so agreeable, Raoul. "No problem!" In any event, the admitting nurse starts giving him attitude about proper hospital intake procedures and such, but the good doctor bustles in to the waiting room and personally escorts Edgar and the swim boys back to...

...that temporarily shuttered ward, explaining the details of his masterful plan as they go. "This is where they bring their bodies to be fixed," the good doctor notes with a hint of wonder in his voice. "They consider it a safe place, but the truth is, often they actually die here instead -- and they never question it!" By now, the good doctor and his guests have arrived in that disused OR from earlier, where Sheriff Jody's nurse and the hospital's personnel administrator have been lashed to wheelchairs. "We can feed discreetly," the good doctor promises Edgar. "A few of us in the right positions," he adds, indicating the panicky yet oddly mute prisoners in the chairs, "and we can feast every single day." "Exactly what The Boss asked for," Edgar nods before turning to their silent companions and smiling, "You're off the swim team, boys -- time to pursue a career in medicine." And as the swim boys obediently approach the still-mute prisoners to assume their physical forms, Edgar reminds the good doctor to check in with The Boss at the earliest available opportunity before turning to leave. "You won't stay?" the good doctor wonders. "I would love to grab us a good anesthesiologist!" Heh. Alas, Edgar must go, as The Boss wants him to "check into some other business in the area." DUN! "By the way," Edgar thinks to ask, eyeing the soon-to-be-dead nurse and administrator, "why can't they scream?" "Oh, I severed their vocal cords," the good doctor breezily replies. "It was a delicate procedure, but very doable!" "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

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