Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: B+ | Grade It Now!
The Hardy Boys Do the Zelda Rubenstein Thing

...and cry cry cry, taking a page from the Female Office Worker Handbook. Actually, he's just gone around back to make a phone call. We hear the voicemail pick up: "This is John Winchester. If this is an emergency please call my son Dean, 866-907-3235." I'll wait here as you go call the number one more time. Okay, done? Good. Close-up on Dean as he leaves a message, his voice, as they say in the romance novels, thick with emotion, his features most beautifully furrowed (sigh): "Dad, I know I've left you messages before. I don't even know if you get 'em. But, I'm with Sam. And we're in Lawrence. And there's somethin' in our old house. I don't know if it's the thing that killed Mom or not, but" -- and here his voice cracks, marking the squee moment of this episode -- "I don't know what to do. So whatever you're doin' if you could get here, please, I need your help Dad."

Back in Jenny's kitchen, I'm wondering if the woman has heard of hundred-watt bulbs. Maybe she can only afford twenty watts. She's leading a plumber to the sink while delivering a load of silly foreshadowing: "No sir, nothing weird down there, I promise." Who says that to a plumber coming to unclog a sink? She leaves, and the plumber gets to work. As he lies on the floor under the sink, one of those cymbal-clashing monkeys (recognized the world over as an emotionally scarring toy) starts clanging away unprompted. The plumber Joe (his shirt says, and I trust it because he doesn't look like a thrifter) unplugs the disposal under the sink, gets up, rolls up his sleeve, and plunges his hand into the drain to start rooting around down there. The monkey watches. The plumber roots. When, yoips! Something has grabbed his hand down there in the drain and he -- omigod omigod omigod! -- oh. Removes his arm with no problem, or carnage. Time for another go, I guess. Back in the hole the arm goes, where he roots around some more. Heh. Then I am cursed for my dirty mind because the disposal starts whirring, the plumber starts screaming, the monkey starts clanging, and the score starts screeching in the background, and it all goes on for a few beats too long. Commercials. Guenther's Auto Repair shop. Dean talks to, presumably, Guenther: "So you and John Winchester used to own this garage together." Guenther says that was a long time ago and that John disappeared over twenty years ago. He wonders why the cops are interested in the case again. Dean asks Guenther to tell him anything he remembers about John. Guenther: "Well, he was a stubborn bastard, I remember that. And, whatever the game, he hated to lose. It was the old Marine thing. But, ah, oh he sure loved Mary. And he doted on those kids." The boys emote. Sam asks, "But that was before the fire. Did he ever talk about that night?" Guenther says he didn't at first, and the boys prompt him some more until he admits that John thought something caused that fire. Dean asks if John ever said what that something was. Guenther fixes him with "whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?" eyes and says, "Nothing did. It was an electrical short in the ceiling or walls or something." Then Guenther says that he begged John to get some help but "it just got worse and worse." How? Oh, John started reading weird books and going to a palm reader in town.

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