Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: C- | 2 USERS: B+
The Lord God Your Hardy Boys

While Dean pretends to be interested in church groups -- oh, boy, you're going to want to look up "karma" and see what it has to say about misleading a non-John Lithgow preacher -- Sam asks Plain Jane what the police think happened to Rich. She tells him she feels guilty for having such a wacky story to tell the police. Sam assures her that what she saw could be true. She looks deeply into his eyes and says "I would have stayed for two thousand."

In the school library, Sam tells Dean that he believes Plain Jane. Dean counters with "Yeah, I think she's hot, too." Sam continues, telling Dean that she found the bloody body suspended upside down, and Dean interrupts him, "Wait that sounds like..." and Sam completes it for him, "Yeah, the Hook Man legend." Dean remarks that it's the most famous urban legend evah, and Sam shrugs and says that all urban legends have a source somewhere.

Cut to a woman dumping two heavy, dusty boxes on a table in front of the boys. They are apparently full of "arrest records, going back to 1851." Right. In a podunk university library. Dean asks if this is how Sam spent four years of his life. Arrest records? Sam should've tried one of the east coast ivies; I hear they let you read Joyce there. Fade out, to fade back in on Dean rubbing his eyes. Aw, with the studying. But -- jackpot! Sam's found something about a preacher in 1862 going all Jack the Ripper on a bunch of prostitutes, killing thirteen and suspending a bunch of them upside down. Dean peers over Sam's shoulder at the artfully illustrated, um, arrest record (?) which depicts a creepy old preacher with a hook for a hand. So...Jack the Ripper Pot! Sam gets this goofy slack-jawed look, sort of like my mom does when she realizes she forgot the bag with the milk and eggs in the grocery cart in the parking lot, and mouthbreathes, "Look where all this happened." Nine Mile Road...where Rich bit it. Dean dorks, "Nice job Dr. Venkman."

Plain Jane's father drives her up to the sorority house to drop her off. There's a pause before Plain Jane tries to tell her father that she knows he's lonely in the house without her, especially since holy church lady mom died. She tells him she's safe in the srat house, that there's 22 girls in there. He then explodes with repressed lesbian fantasy: "That's exactly what I'm worried about. You think I don't know what goes on in there?" Plain Jane tells him she's an adult and can live her own life, and he snarks "Right, drinking, partying with that roommate of yours." It's true, Rev, she does like a drunken movie night a bit more than your average Presbyterian. But not nearly as much as your average Episcopalian. Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all night with my wacky church jokes. Did you ever hear the one about Lutheran Airlines? It's potluck where you land, and everyone crowds into the back row! ;)

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