Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: C- | 2 USERS: B+
The Lord God Your Hardy Boys

Graveyard. Dean's six feet under and still digging out the coffin, sweaty and grey t-shirted. Yum. Salt lick. He says out loud that "next time, I get to watch the cute girl's house." He finally breaks through the top.

Outside the Rev's, Sam leans on the Metallicar. Plain Jane comes out in a cute blue hoodie and white t-shirt. Sam tells her he's keeping an eye on her. She sits down and tells him he's sweet and should get away from her. She thinks she's cursed. Sam, once again, makes it about him, "I think I know how you feel."

Back in the grave, Dean continues to be sweaty and grey t-shirted. I continue to be totally satisfied, even though literally nothing has happened for like twelve scenes in a row. Dean salts and lighter fluids the skeleton and lights it on fire. It goes up in flames. Minute 33 pops up and says, "Nuh unh is that crap finished."

Sam and Plain Jane continue to discuss how bad they have it. No one will talk to her anymore, she's a suspect, and her father's advice to pray isn't really helping much. Sam brings up the fight he just overheard, and Plain Jane goes on quite a little morality rampage herself. She's mad that he's seeing a married woman who comes to church with her husband. Huh. That is actually kind of bad. She says her father is the one who taught her that if you do something wrong you get punished. Sam, meanwhile, smells farts. Plain Jane is having a crisis of faith. Sam looks like he's about to fall asleep. He has some unusual courting techniques. But apparently the big knife in his trunk is all he needs, because Plain Jane leans in for some making out. This time not so much with the smooching, a little more with the making out. Dude, reverends' daughters actually probably have it pretty good because making out is usually totally overlooked by the slut bag crowd. Sam stops making out BECAUSE HE IS SUCH A WET NOODLE. Sam is totally what is wrong with feminism. We said 1) we are not baby factories and 2) equal pay for equal work. Nowhere in the charter did we say "Please start boring us with your sad sack emotional man shtick."

Plain Jane's father comes to the door and tells her to come inside. She whips around and says she'll come in when she's ready. She really spits it at him, he looks pissed, and out of nowhere the freaking Hook Man materializes behind him and hooks him off stage into the house. Holy Buster Keaton! Sam grabs his gun and rushes in the house. Upstairs the Reverend moans "No, no, please , no!" The Rev's on the floor with the Hook Man above him about to hack him up. Sam shoots the spirit full of rock salt and it disappears. Looks like it's back to the graveyard, boys.

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