How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters

Episode Report Card
Demian: B | 4 USERS: B
The Hardy Boys Don't Know Dick

Cut to the expected stakeout of Biggerson's loading dock, already in progress. Bobby and Sam companionably sit side-by-side in the front seats of a nondescript van while Dean loudly sleeps off the effects of his formerly delicious Pepperjack Turducken Slammer in the back, and oh, Christ. Here they go with the endless yammering about their goddamned feelings again. "Really?!" Really. "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" Sigh. I knew this episode was gonna start sucking sooner or later. "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" So, Sam frets about Dean's current state of mind, what with Sam's broken head and the recent loss of My Sweet Baboo weighing so heavily on his conscience, or whatever, and Bobby offers a few sage words of advice I'll not be bothering to transcribe, and just when I'm about to join dear Raoul in his Coma Of Boredom, a delivery truck prominently labeled "MIDWEST MEAT & POULTRY" pulls up to the Biggerson's loading dock. A white-haired gentleman emerges from the cab to cart a stack of boxes into the restaurant proper, then climbs back behind the wheel to drive off into the night. "I guess we follow him," Bobby sighs. You think?

Elsewhere, a magenta-haired lass emerges from a late evening at the office park to clatter over to her car, and should I bother waking Raoul for this bit? "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" Yeah, didn't think so. We get a brief bit of Animal Cam as something in the bushes tracks her progress, and just when the lass reaches her SUV...that surly waiter from a thousand scenes ago pounces on her! "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" I agree, my scaly friend, so I'll be skipping ahead to the bit where some as-yet-unidentified gentleman steps forward to pimp-slap the ghoulish waitron into next month, and when that's all over and done with, we head back to...

...the stakeout, which has by now migrated to a very large and very anonymous warehouse somewhere else. Dean woke up from his little nap at some point during the drive over, and he now sips from a Thermos of coffee while Sam trains a pair of binoculars on the action now unfolding below their vantage point atop an adjacent hill. As the delivery driver disembarks to vanish into the vast warehouse complex, a sedan pulls up next to the door, and it's Leviathan Edgar, and because we few who remain in this tiresome wreck of a show's rapidly dwindling audience are apparently incapable of remembering who Leviathan Edgar is, the darling little idiots responsible for this mess have chosen to insert a brief flashback to this scene to help us along. Shut up, flashback. "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" That, too. In any event, once we return, Leviathan Edgar pulls the ghoulish and now-hooded waitron from the trunk of his car, for yes, it was Leviathan Edgar who pimp-slapped the altered Brendan or Brandon or Braedynn or whatever the hell his name is into next month. "What the hell is going on?" Bobby gripes, and I'm sure you'll be finding out soon enough, hairball, but first we must bid you a momentary farewell as we watch you vanish into this evening's next METAL TEETH CHOMP!

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