Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 2 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Meet The Antichrist

...My Sweet Baboo is waiting for them in this week's motel room. "Hel-loooooo, Castiel!" Raoul shrieks, waving madly at the television screen. "Spiffy haircut, I must say! [Slurp!] [Skritchy-Skritchy!]" "It's lucky you found the boy," My Sweet Baboo opens, rudely ignoring Raoul's generous compliment. "Real lucky," Dean harrumphs before wondering, "What do we do with him?" "Kill him," Castiel immediately replies, which is why I love him so much. Our Intrepid Nitwits attempt to argue, but Castiel shuts them down with, "This child is half-human and half-demon, but it's far more powerful than either," and I wasn't aware that humans had any kind of special powers, but like I said above, I'm no expert in these things, so whatever. Just kill him already. My Sweet Baboo explains that "other cultures" have a variety of names for creatures as foul as the demonic latchkey urchin, including "Cambion" and some other word I don't feel like looking up, but we all know the thing as "The Antichrist," and there goes one of my nicknames for The Ginormotron. And then? Castiel sits on a whoopee cushion. And the unpleasant sound effects drag on for a full ten seconds of screentime, after which My Majestic Baboo regally states, "That wasn't me," before getting back to the business at hand, and as I've never been the biggest fan of fart jokes, I'll keep this recap moving, shall I? "[Skritchy-Skritchy!] [ Slurp!] You shall! [Skritchy-Skritchy!]" Raoul, you're going to scratch your damn ass off if you keep that up. Did you not watch the opening scene? "I can't help it! It's driving me absolutely mental! [Slurp!] [Skritchy-Skritchy!]" Oh, whatever. In any event, My Sweet Baboo dumps a load of expository blather into our collective lap at this point, so let me see if I can keep it all straight: The Demonic Urchin, despite what our all-too-frequently incorrect Bible would have us believe, is not, in fact, Satan's child. He's merely the offspring of a demon and a human, but as such, he's the most powerful weapon in Lucifer's arsenal. He's cooling his heels in Western Nebraska at the moment only because Lucifer's minions lost track of him when Crazy Julia expelled her demonic impregnator shortly after the fiend's birth, and The Demonic Urchin's natural powers keep him cloaked from both hosts, Heavenly and Hellish. Those natural powers, for the most part, remained dormant while Lucifer was still in chains, but now that he's risen -- thanks, boys! -- The Demonic Urchin increases in strength with each passing day, which is why Alliance hasn't been experiencing mind-warping events every day for the last eleven and a half years, and also why the current plague is restricted to a two-mile radius around Jesse's house. However, as he gets stronger, The Demonic Urchin's exploits will eventually override the cloaking, and it's at that moment that Lucifer's minions will pounce on him. Once that happens, and once The Demonic Urchin has been "twisted" to Lucifer's purpose, the thing'll be able to vanquish The Host Of Heaven with one word. Needless to say, this prospect troubles My Sweet Baboo, and so... "DEATH!" Raoul rather agreeably howls. "DEATH TO HIM WHO WOULD HARM THE SPIFFY HAIRCUT! Hee! [Skritchy-Skritchy!] [ Slurp!]"

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Supernatural

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