Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 2 USERS: B
The Hardy Boys Meet The Antichrist

...back to Alliance, where the well water apparently sucks, because The Antichrist's family uses an Oasis® Brand Bottled Water Cooler. Buy or lease one today! The Antichrist totes Its glass of Oasis® Brand Bottled Water Cooler water into the living room, where It finds...My Sweet Baboo, ready to kill It! HOORAY! The Antichrist drops Its glass of Oasis® Brand Bottled Water Cooler water to the floor, where the thing shatters against the boards as The Antichrist backs slowly away from Castiel, who advances just as slowly upon It with soothing words and phrases like, "Don't be afraid!" and "I won't hurt you!" and "Your parents will be asleep for a very long time!" and "Ignore The Knife That Can Kill Anything Except When It Usually Can't that I've got behind my back!" and "DIE!" Castiel lunges, but the camera cuts away at the last instant to the front door, where Our Intrepid Fatheads are just now booting their way through the wood, asking if anyone's seen a smoldering gentleman in a trenchcoat. The Antichrist looks down. Our Intrepid Imbeciles follow The Antichrist's eyes to the floor where they find...My Sweet Baboo transformed into a Knife-wielding plastic action figure! D'OH! Our Intrepid Ninnies gape in horror and dismay for a lengthy period of time until the METAL TEETH CHOMP! bites their damn fool heads off. Meanwhile, the entire audience wonders why Knife-wielding Castiel action figures are not on sale right this very instant. "I'd buy one! [Slurp!] [Hic!] [Skritchy-Skritchy!] Oh, my!"

Lair Of The Antichrist. Aftermath. Dean carefully places the enviable Castiel® Brand Celestial Sweetheart Action Figure With Super-Special Glow-In-The-Dark Knife That Can Kill Anything Except When It Usually Can't Stabby Hands on The Lair's mantel while The Antichrist s-l-o-w-l-y realizes It turned My Sweet Baboo into a toy. An awesome toy, but a toy nonetheless. Dean LIES that this obviously means The Antichrist is a superhero, like Superman or one of The X-People. The Antichrist, despite being all-powerful, is a dumbass, so It buys it. Dean further LIES that he and Sam are Extra-Special Agents with the FBI, tasked with finding dumbasses like The Antichrist to assist in The War On Terror, or some such bullshit, so it's very fortunate indeed that Demonically Reenhanced Crazy Julia invades The Lair Of The Antichrist at this very moment to pin both of Our Intrepid Halfwits to the wall with a burst of telekinetic mojo, and oh, crap! Now we have to listen to Demonically Reenhanced Crazy Julia speechify for the next three thousand years. JUST KILL IT ALREADY. KILL THE ANTICHRIST. "Flagon?!" Not yet, friend of friends. I'm almost done. "Okay! [Hic!] [Skritchy-Skritchy!] [ Slurp!] Whee!"

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