Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 2 USERS: B
The Hardy Boys Meet The Antichrist

In any event, the only awesome bit is the fact that we learn Lucifer's minions are under strict orders not to damage Darling Sammy, but the stumpy little bow-legged midget? Totally fair game. So, Demonically Reenhanced Crazy Julia keeps biffing Increasingly Damaged El Deano back and forth and back and forth between the walls on either side of the room until The Buzzkill Antichrist orders her to stop. Of course, because The Buzzkill Antichrist is all-powerful and shit, she does, and then it gets talky up in here, with Demonically Reenhanced Crazy Julia telling Buzzkill that everyone It knows is a LYING LIAR WHO LIES, most especially Its parents, who LIED about, um, being Its parents, I guess, and most especially especially Our Intrepid Dolts, who LIED about, oh, everything else. Then The Antichrist mentally Hulks out and goes all Carrie and Firestarter at the same time. Demonically Reenhanced Crazy Julia cackles with glee as The Lair Of The Antichrist threatens to crumble around the quartet's ears, and just as everything's about to go to hell, Stupid Sammy calls out to confess that yes, he and his brother did lie to The Antichrist, but now he wants to tell It the truth. Demonically Reenhanced Crazy Julia violates her boss's direct orders by twisting a telekinetic fist around in the air and joy! O Rapture! We have entered the weekly If It's Thursday, Then Sam's Getting Choked portion of this evening's festivities! "Wheeeeeee! [Hic!] [ Slurp!] [Skritchy-Skritchy!]" Of course, The Buzzkill Antichrist quickly calls a halt to all of that, because The Buzzkill Antichrist hates the entire world. Stupid Sammy drops to the floor and starts in with his psychobabble truth-telling bullshit that My Sweet Baboo already called him on earlier in the episode, so I'll be keeping this brief: Sam tells The Antichrist the truth, and The Antichrist orders the demon out of Its birth mother. Once the demon's gone, Dean drops to the floor as well, and through his gasping and panting and spluttering and whatnot, he manages to enthuse, "Kid, you're awesome!" at The Antichrist, because Dean apparently suffered from severe lack of oxygen during his late ordeal, and he's now even stupider than ever before thanks to the billions of brain cells Demonically Reenhanced Crazy Julia managed to destroy inside his skull. And then they all vanish into the final commercial break with nary a METAL TEETH CHOMP! in sight, because even The Kripkeeper hates the entire world, too.

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