I’m No Angel

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B- | 112 USERS: B
The Hardy Boys and the Case of the Handsome Hobo

The Winchesters have had a far less fruitful night, and pull over on the side of the road. "I think it's time for plan B," Dean says. He gives Sam an intense look. "I don't follow," Sam says. "I'm letting you know," Dean says, dialing up the intensity of his look. Sam remains baffled, but Ezekiel manages to pick up on Dean's signal. "I need your help," Dean says. "That is flattering," Samekiel says, but he doesn't see how he's supposed to find a warded Castiel. Dean suggests he look for any Reapers who might be on the hunt. Samekiel closes his eyes and makes some faces like someone just waved a skunk under his nose.

April has gotten Castiel tied to a chair and muses about how silly it was to wash his clothes. "It's the kind of thing the real April would have done," she says. So Reapers possess humans now, but Maurice couldn't leave his body before Dean killed him? Yeesh. At least April got sex out of it. Speaking of which... "Why didn't you just attack me right away?" Castiel wonders. "My briefing said you were dangerous and powerful," she says. "I needed information, so I had to gain your trust." The nookie was just kind of a bonus – a double bonus, even! She crawls up in his lap and flicks the buttons off his shirt with the tip of the angel blade. She exposits about how Bartholomew hired a bunch of Reapers and she just happened to get lucky. In more than one way. But, seriously? Maurice had to trail the Winchesters to get information, and April just happened to be possessing a lady that Castiel met? "Let's talk about your buddy Metatron," she says, cutting his chest with the blade.

The Impala speeds toward Detroit. Faster, Impala! Faster!

In no time, April has just about slashed a tic-tac-toe pattern in Castiel's torso. What was the point of gaining his trust for information only to torture it out of him later? Oh, right: the sex. "I know nothing about Metatron's spell," Castiel says for the umpteenth time. "I didn't know he was gonna cast the angels out of Heaven! I was cast out, too." She stabs him in the boob, but he maintains his naivety. "It's known you were collaborating with Metatron," she says. "Because we were going to restore Heaven," he insists. She seems much angrier and on a much more personal level than a mercenary should be. She grabs a handful of his hair and yanks back his head. "You were with him when he unleashed the spell! You know how the angels were cast down!" She stabs him again. "I only knew I was the final ingredient," he says. "My grace, it's why I'm human." He points out that it might be a bad idea to kill him, just in case he's needed to reverse the spell. That certainly makes sense, but she's like full-on Fatal Attraction crazy by now, for some reason.

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