Episode Report Card
Demian: B | 6 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Nuke the Fridge

...Cousin Oliver's Diner! Heh. Yeah, the diner's actually named for the ultimate tow-headed moppet of television series doom, and we join Our Intrepid Heroes as they wheel the Impala into the tiny eatery's parking lot. By the way, the official name of the place appears to be Cousin Oliver's Hilltop Café, "The Home Of Famous Pies," so I'm guessing Dean'll be able to find at least one thing on the menu that he'll enjoy. In any event, as Dean switches off the car's ignition and heads immediately to the bottomless trunk to retrieve a few key implements of demonic destruction, Sam's given the thankless task of dumping an episode's worth of exposition into the audience's collective lap in order to bring us all up to speed on this Adam Milligan person. Reading from the extensive dossier he managed to compile on the guy over the last two hours while he was riding shotgun, Sam notes Adam was born on September 29, 1990, to "Kate Milligan," with no father listed on the birth certificate, and that he was an Eagle Scout who graduated from the local high school in Windom, Minnesota, with honors before matriculating at the University of Wisconsin as a biology major with a concentration in pre-med. "This is a trap," Dean insists, thereby dismissing all of Sam's no doubt hard-won research before slamming shut Metallicar's trunk and heading into Cousin Oliver's with nary so much as a backwards glance. Darling Sammy and his unusually well-kempt coif flail around in frustration for a moment at the Impala's side before they sigh and bitchface and trudge after their hotheaded brother. "That's remarkably talented hair the dear boy has growing on the top of his head!" I'm so glad you noticed that too, Raoul. "Hee!"

Inside Cousin Oliver's, a poster on the wall next to the door advertises the "31st Annual Fonzarelli Water Skiing Championship" at Cottonwood Lake, and oh, show. Oh, clever, clever show. There are, supposedly, additional references to infamous television shark-jumping moments scattered throughout the episode, but I'm not sure if I'll be uncovering each of them for all of you lovely people, so if I miss something, do feel free to share it with the rest of the class on the boards. In the meantime, back to the scene: Dean deliberately chooses a booth that'll place his own back against the wall for the impending throw-down with Adam Milligan and begins rigging a series of tests for the kid -- including spiking a glass with holy water and replacing the diner's stainless steel with actual silverware, just in case Adam's demonically enhanced or a shapeshifter, respectively -- and ensuring his trusty pearl-handled automatic's loaded with the appropriate type of ammunition for the encounter, and is it just me, or is this moron risking severe damage to the diner and its human inhabitants along with exposure to the local constabulary and, through them, the F. B. Frigging I. by insisting on forcing such a confrontation with what could be one of Lilith's many, many minions in so public a space? "It's not just you!" Raoul shrieks rather agreeably. "I do believe the dear lad's plan, what's the word I'm searching for?!" Idiotic? "Oh, you are a dear little man! It was right on the tip of my tongue!" Good to know we're on the same page, Raoul. "Anytime, I'm sure!"

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