Episode Report Card
Demian: A | 4 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Got This Plan
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Rattle, Rattle THEN! Once upon a time, Bobby hoped Our Intrepid Heroes were ready, because the bozos let G.I. Jake open a damned door to Hell in the middle of nowhere in Wyoming, and now hundreds of Satan's minions stalk the earth, apparently waiting for some signal to begin The War That Is About To Begin Any Second Now, We Promise! Also, something crawled up Special Agent Victor Henriksen's ass and died there, so he set about making Sam and Dean's lives hell over the course of a couple of excellent episodes. Meanwhile, Princess Sparkle had a rather complicated backstory that nobody cared about, but she did want to help Darling Sammy for whatever mysterious reason, so she gets to stick around for a little while, because Darling Sammy was the Superest of The Ceiling Demon's super-special mommy-free and -having children last season, and now a lot of black-eyed skanks want him dead. And finally, Posh Bela stole The Fucking Colt That Can Kill Anything Except When It Usually Can't, and for this, she must die. Well, for that, as well as for imperiling Darling Sammy's life by swiping the furry fetish, for shooting Darling Sammy in one of his otherwise remarkably healthy shoulders, for impounding the Impala, for siccing Whackjob Gordon on Our Dear Boys, and for whatever the hell she's about to do tonight. And then?

Silence, Silence NOW! Sam and Dean slam through a door in "Monument, Colorado," and make with the Tough-Guy Jazz-Hands as they scamper through what had been Posh Bela's hotel room until the massive irritation decamped from the joint mere moments before Our Intrepid Heroes arrived, as they discover when the obnoxious wretch dials the room's phone from her cell to boast over her narrow escape. She's placed The Fucking Colt in the passenger seat of her car, by the way, nestled in a towel she swiped from the hotel's bathroom, and she attempts banter with Dashing El Deano for an aggravatingly lengthy period of time before she finally smugs, "You're about to be quite occupied -- did you really think I wouldn't take precautions?" On cue, about a half-dozen deputies from the local sheriff's department boot their way into the room with firearms drawn, shouting for Sam and Dean to hit the deck, pronto. Yep, Posh Bela ratted them out to the cops, and as those cops proceeded to arrive in the company of Special Agent Henriksen of the FBI, there is now absolutely no reason whatsoever for Our Dear Boys to refrain from shooting her in her obnoxious face the instant they run into her again. "DEATH TO THE AGGRAVATING BINT!" shrieks Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon, quite simply appalled over the fact that she's been allowed to linger for so long, especially after what she did to Darling Sammy's shoulder all those many episodes ago. "Absolutely inexcusable behavior!" Raoul shrieks again, clutching at his imaginary pearls. "What did that dear little lad's shoulder ever do to her, I ask you?!" I have no idea, Raoul, but you know I feel the same way, so might I continue? "Of course! It's best not to dwell on such unpleasantness!" Excellent point, my scaly friend. So, as various Monument deputies squish Our Intrepid Heroes into the low-pile carpeting, Mirandizing them while slapping on handcuffs and leg irons, Henriksen strides in from the hall to loom above them all and, after allowing for an appropriate pause to bask in his triumph, or whatever, he grins, "Hi, guys! It's been a while!" Darling Sammy's wild-eyed with panic, but weary El Deano simply lets his tired little face drop into the...

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