LARP and the Real Girl

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C+ | 23 USERS: A-
A Tolkien Gesture

The Winchesters approach Boltar with their FBI badges, which Boltar immediately recognizes as fake. He thinks the Winchesters are trying to do a "genre mash-up" thing, but they've showed up on the wrong weekend for that. He does, however, invite them to join the Queen's army, and takes them along to watch her sword-fighting with one of her potential squires. She bests him rather easily then removes her helmet to shake out her long, red hair. "I love you," her potential squire breathes. "I know," she says. She turns to her loyal subjects and mentions that Greyfox and Thargrim are missing. She starts to invite others to fill in for them, but stops when she notices Sam and Dean in the crowd. She's momentarily thrown. "The Queen needs some royal 'we' time," she says, and scampers off to her very elaborate tent. Dean, lagging behind, picks up one of the play swords. "Nice balance," he says, his inner nerd surging ever closer to the surface. Sam has to call to him before he snaps out of it.

They follow Charlie into her tent, where they discover her packing up her things. Her new name, she says, is Carrie Heinlein, although she anticipates this identity will soon be as dead as the old one. "If you guys are here, then monsters are here," she says. "Why do I have such bad luck? What am I, some kind of monster magnet?" she wonders. Then she thinks about it and asks, "Is there such a thing as a monster magnet?" Yes, it's Sam's crotch. On second thought, she decides she doesn't want to know the answer. She grabs her bag, pops her crown on Dean's head and heads for the exit. Dean calls her back. He tells her that Ed and Lance aren't missing, but dead. That stops her.

They all sit down in her chambers to talk over the case. While they're doing that, I'm trying to figure out the logistics of getting that heavy-looking, ornate bed in and out of the park. I drop back into the conversation just as Dean hands over a photo of Ed's tattoo. "It's a Celtic magic symbol," Charlie says. "At least it was in my favorite video game. Can I go now?" It turns out that Ed and Lance aren't the only victims. Four other members of her army have been hospitalized over the last few weeks, although none of them with injuries as fatal as Ed's and Lance's. She insists that they didn't have any enemies in real life, but in the game is another matter entirely, what with this being the weekend of the Battle of the Kingdoms and all.

She shows them her battle plans with all the factions represented on a map. She and Dean immediately start strategizing and quickly lose themselves in the game until Sam snaps them out of it. "What if someone from the other kingdoms got hold of real magic and used it to weaken your army?" he asks. "But they would just come after me," Charlie says. "And why the escalation?" Dean suggests Charlie get to someplace safe while he and Sam question the "accountants with foam swords," but Charlie's not having it. She's decided she's tired of running and she doesn't want anyone else to die on her watch. "I like my life here. I'm going to stay and fight for it." They all give each other meaningful looks while sad music plays. Luckily, Sam gets a phone call that interrupts things before they can get too dreary. He listens to the person on the other end for all of three seconds, yet still comes up with a sizable info dump. "So, the toxicology report came back on Lance: nothing. But the medical examiner said his body showed clear signs that he was killed by belladonna." Dean and Charlie both gape at him. "The porn star?" they ask in unison. "The poison," Sam says. But, as with the invisible ropes in Ed's apartment, they could find no trace of the poison in Lance's system. Sam heads off to the "tech tent" to avail himself of a laptop while Dean gets ready to make the rounds with Charlie. Much to his delight, this means he will have to play dress-up.

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