LARP and the Real Girl

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C+ | 23 USERS: A-
A Tolkien Gesture

On her way back to camp, she's accosted by a man in black robes and plastic teeth. He growls and throws a small black pouch at her, which she dodges. She tosses a red pouch at him, saying, "Dark magic!" He galumphs away in mock pain as Charlie watches with amusement. She's still smiling when she turns around and finds herself face to face with a tall figure in black, face obscured by a stag's skull. Charlie throws a pouch. "Dark magic," she says weakly. The mysterious newcomer is shockingly unaffected by pretend magic. It raises its cloaked arms and envelops Charlie.

Dean and Boltar return to camp after a fruitless search. "Are you sure the Shadow Orcs are even out there?" Dean asks. "For a handmaiden, you certain ask many questions," Boltar says. He says the Shadow Orcs are just difficult to find, but he has a plan to draw them out. He suggests they offer up their imprisoned orc in an exchange. While Boltar goes off to fetch the prisoner, Sam and Dean catch up with each other. They've basically learned exactly the same things on their separate quests, which just makes one wonder, again, why they're working together. At some point, they realize they've lost track of Charlie and that she never made it to Sam. Sam tries calling Dean's phone...

...which is currently lying beside Charlie on a bed straight out of a Pottery Barn catalog shoot. There's still no signal to be had, though, so they don't get through to her. Charlie wakes up, holding her head in pain. She realizes the stag-headed figure is standing at the foot of her bed. Charlie tries to leave, but when she exits one door, she just reappears through another. Charlie, realizing she's faced with real magic, blathers on nervously about her old job and the Leviathans and how she just wants her life back. All the while, the figure approaches her in silence. Finally, it removes the skull mask, revealing the face of a beautiful woman. She says she wants her life back, as well. At once, Charlie goes from being terrified to turned on because as a lesbian she's going to be attracted to every good-looking woman, even the ones who knock her out and kidnap her.

Night. Boltar and the Winchesters lead their prisoner through the woods until they come to some predetermined spot. The prisoner makes some bird noises, which are returned by his friends in the shadows. The Shadow King and his buddies walk out onto the path. Boltar and the King take their sweet time, first with flowery insults and then with the real-world concerns of a soccer game that's scheduled to take place on their battlefield. Dean takes out his gun. "All right, I need real answers. This here's a real gun, see?" To prove it, he shoots at the ground. The Shadow Orcs freak right the hell out. Dean demands to know where the Queen is, pointing out the tree on the Shadow King's crest as evidence of his guilt. The Shadow King rolls up his sleeve and shows Dean his tattoo, saying he got sick after it appeared there last month. "I thought it looked really cool, so I turned it into my family crest," he says. "I mean, after my dermatologist said it wasn't malignant." The Shadow King's real name is Max and he's just another victim. He's also an attorney, and promises not to press charges if they let him go. Dean waves them away and off they scamper, back into the shadows. Their prisoner is worried about the Queen and mentions a weird tent he saw down by the river. He's got a crush on Charlie. "Will you put in a good word for me when you find her?" he asks. "I don't think you're her type," Dean says. "You mean she's not into Orcs?" the oblivious prisoner asks.

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