Episode Report Card
Demian: A | 8 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys: Now On A Mission From God!

"Why would an angel rescue me from Hell?" Dean continues, still not dropping it even though this episode still has forty full goddamned seconds to go and it's taken me an hour and a half to cover goddamned minute of it that just now ended. "Good things do happen, Dean," Castiel assures him, stepping closer. "Not in my experience," Dean seethes, holding his ground. "What's the matter?" Castiel wonders, genuinely curious, knitting the unfamiliar brow and tilting the unfamiliar head again. "You don't think you deserve to be saved!" It's a sudden understanding for the angel man, not a question, and oh, Castiel, honey. If you only knew how little this self-loathing bastard cared about himself. Oy. "The tsuris again?!" Indeed. It's always the tsuris with these guys, but buck up, for we are twenty-three seconds from the end of the episode! "Rats!" You mean you don't want it to end? "Never! I have found myself re-enamored of this delightful little Thursday evening divertissement, and I want it to last forever!" It's a damn good thing you're not real, then, for Christ's sake. "You called?" Dean asks. Shut up, Dean.

Now, where the hell was I? Okay: So, Castiel has just realized something about Dean that the audience has known since at least the middle of the first goddamned season, and when Low Self Esteem Dean again hurls yet another snotty question into Castiel's remarkable and oddly beautiful face -- this time, "Why'd you do it?" -- Castiel, with his newfound understanding of Dean's fragile psyche, or whatever, carefully -- as in "full of care" -- enunciates, "Because God commanded it." Dean flinches -- almost as if he's been slapped hard across the face a couple of times -- before Castiel concludes: "Because We have work for you."

And that, my friends, is what a motherfucking DUN! looks like! I cannot wait until next week! "A-him!" Yes, Raoul? "You'll forgive me if I'm incorrect with my assumptions, I'm sure, but when you say you cannot wait until next week's no doubt enthralling installment, surely you mean you cannot wait until next week's no doubt enthralling installment, except for the part where you can, because you managed to get a copy of the screener, and you've watched next week's enthralling installment at least two times already?" Shut up, Raoul. "Well! I never!" And you never will if you don't shut it! "Hmph!"

Demian wonders why he hasn't seen you in church lately. Raoul knows perfectly well it's because Demian's damned shadow hasn't itself darkened the door of a church in over fifteen years, and of all the gall! Really! You may reach the former at The latter is an imaginary gay dragon on the Internet.

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