Let It Bleed

Episode Report Card
Demian: C | 4 USERS: B+
The Hardy Boys Tell Lies, and I Got Proof

Warehouse Basement. Immediate aftermath. Demonically Enhanced Bendy Lisa sneers and snarls and says hateful things about Dean and The Brat, and while Cindy Sampson's certainly having a ball with all of this, we still have more than an hour to go in tonight's doubleheader, so let's cut to the chase, shall we? "Okay!" Oh, wait a minute -- I can't let this particularly juicy insult she hurls at Dean pass by without transcribing it: Right after Demonically Enhanced Bendy Lisa claims that Regular Bendy Lisa's biggest mistake was not aborting The Brat when she had the chance, Dean growls, "It's not your mom, Ben -- she's lying!" Demonically Enhanced Bendy Lisa's response? "Says the C-minus lay with ten miles of Daddy Issues! Whatever gets you through the night, Tiny Tim!" HA! "Mercy me! Did that exceptionally tan young lady just impugn that charming little bandy-legged boy's character?!" In a manner of speaking, sure. "Saucy! [Slurp!]"

So, Short-Dick El Deano splashes some holy water in Demonically Enhanced Bendy Lisa's face, basically forcing her to drop her hold on both The Brat and The Knife That Can Kill Anything Except When It Usually Can't. Some half-hearted fisticuffs ensue, mainly because Short-Dick El Deano doesn't want to hurt Regular Bendy Lisa, with Short-Dick El Deano eventually opting to recite an exorcism. Just as the exorcism's about to take hold, however, Demonically Enhanced Bendy Lisa lunges past Short-Dick El Deano to snatch up a chisel from a nearby workbench, and she immediately plunges the thing into Regular Bendy Lisa's religiously toned abs. "Exorcise me now!" Demonically Enhanced Bendy Lisa challenges, practically twirling her dastardly moustaches with unseemly amounts of glee. Short-Dick El Deano tosses one anguished glance at The Brat, then completes the exorcism anyway. And when the howling and the wailing and the roiling clouds of bitterly black demonic goo are done, Bendy Lisa drops to the floor bleeding profusely from that sucking chisel wound in her gut. "GOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Short-Dick El Deano immediately calls Unconscious Sam for an assist, but there is of course no answer forthcoming, so he tasks The Brat with wielding one of his trusty duffel's many, many salt-laden shotguns for the long march out of wherever the hell it is they are. The Brat's more than a bit shell-shocked and thus more than a bit slow on the uptake, so Short-Dick El Deano pretty much slaps the enamel straight off the kid's teeth. "VIOLENCE! WANTON ACTS OF UNREPENTANT BRAT-BASHING VIOLENCE AND GOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!"

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