Let It Bleed

Episode Report Card
Demian: C | 4 USERS: B+
The Hardy Boys Tell Lies, and I Got Proof

Bendy Estates. The Brat lounges on his bed, listening to something indecipherable on his iPod while paging through a comic book entitled Cthulhu Tales. Meanwhile, Bendy Lisa and her new beau are downstairs in her tastefully appointed living room, watching a baseball game on her massive flat-screen TV when...a demonically enhanced bruiser batters down Bendy Lisa's front door! DUN! The Brat immediately whips off his iPod and creeps out onto the stairwell landing to watch as the initial intruder quickly throws Bendy Lisa into a headlock. The Beau, for his part, approaches the initial intruder with placating hand gestures, and for his trouble gets his neck snapped by the initial intruder's just-appearing sidekick. "VIOLENCE!" shrieks Raoul, now thoroughly enjoying this otherwise tedious scene. "WANTON ACTS OF UNREPENTANT NECK-SNAPPING VIOLENCE AND GOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" The Brat races back upstairs to barricade himself in his bedroom, where he immediately calls Dean. The conversation goes something like this:

Dean: Hello? The Brat: AAAAAAUAUAAAUUUAAAAGH! Dean: There's a shotgun in your mom's closet! The Brat: AAAAAAUAUAAAUUUAAAAGH! Dean: Jump out the window, then, you fucking moron! The Brat: AAAAAAUAUAAAUUUAAAAGH! Dean: I'll meet you out on the lawn, even though I am 740 miles and thirteen hours away from you! The Brat: [Thunk.]

A hand reaches down to retrieve The Brat's phone from the detritus now littering his bedroom carpet, and Crowley lifts the thing to his ear to smarm, "Hullo, Dean! Fancy a chat?" just seconds before the METAL TEETH CHOMP! barges in to shove its tongue into Crowley's many, many facial pores.

Bendy Estates. Immediate aftermath. Crowley teases Our Intrepid Hero via cell and Dean responds with the expected threats and dark mutterings, and the long and the short of it is this: Crowley intends to hold Bendy Lisa and The Brat hostage until he's certain Dean and "Jolly Green" have stood down. "Kisses!" Crowley perks by way of goodbye, swiping one of Raoul's catchphrases in the process. "Hmph!" Oh, honey, it's not like you ever really owned that one. "Still!" Raoul pouts. "Hmph!" Have another sip of your cocktail, sweetie -- it'll take the edge off. "Thanks! I will! [Slurp!]" Excellent.

Now, where the hell were we? Oh, yes: Dean hangs up and shares the bad news with Bobby and Sam, the latter of whom wonders if My Sweet Baboo's involved somehow. Dean opines that they've little choice but to assume Castiel at least knows about the recent dastardly doings down at Bendy Estates, and he makes to motor to Battle Creek immediately. Sam insists upon tagging along, arguing that Bobby's perfectly capable of handling the Lovecraft research on his own, and after an excessively boring round of bickering that I'll not be bothering to transcribe, everyone splits up for the rest of the episode. You know, pretty much.

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