Let It Bleed

Episode Report Card
Demian: C | 4 USERS: B+
The Hardy Boys Tell Lies, and I Got Proof

...scuttled over to a rain-streaked alleyway, where Belthazor deposits Our Intrepid Heroes before fluttering off. Sam and Dean lurk in the alleyway's shadows, casing the entrance to a nearby warehouse, until one of Crowley's demonically enhanced minions steps outside for a smoke. Delirious El Deano tippy-toes up behind the guy and sporks him with The Knife That Can Kill Anything Except When It Usually Can't. "GOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Raoul, darling. "Yes?!" You know there's no gore to be had in this scene. "I do, indeed!" Then why are you shrieking? "Well! I simply can't abandon you this final evening of the season as has been my habit as of late, so I am manufacturing my own fun!" Whatever gets you through the night, friend of friends. "[Slurp!]" That, too, and don't think this selfless gesture of yours is unappreciated. "My pleasure, I'm sure!" Excellent.

Now, where were we? Oh, yes: Delirious El Deano sporks the watchminion with The Knife That Can Kill Anything Except When It Usually Can't, and he and Shotgun Sammy scamper into the warehouse proper, where these two geniuses quickly agree to split up, because It Is Always A Good Idea For These Two To Split Up As Often As Possible Whenever They Find Themselves In The Middle Of Life-Threatening Situations. Assholes. "Demian!" Oh, leave me alone. "Hee! [Slurp!]" Anyway, Delirious El Deano hoofs it off to the right while Shotgun Sammy keeps going straight, and long story short, Shotgun Sammy quickly gets his tantalizing ass handed to him by a couple of Crowley's minions. You know, eventually, after much suspenseful cross-cutting between the two nimrods and an abundance of Tough-Guy Jazz-Hands and such. The minions haul Unconscious Sammy into some kind of enclosed courtyard and leave him there, locking him out of the warehouse proper for the hijinks that ensue, so we're down to Delirious El Deano and his trusty duffel bag, and just in time to check in on...

...Bendy Lisa and The Brat, too. The camera finds them sitting on the floor in a basement storeroom, lashed to a single steel support pillar and guarded over by three more of Crowley's minions. Presently, forest noises reach the storeroom from some antechamber above, so one of the minions mounts the rickety staircase to investigate. More forest noises reach the storeroom shortly after the first minion's exit, so the remaining two minions mount the rickety staircase to investigate. Are we having fun yet? "I certainly am! [Slurp!]" Don't taunt me with your flagons, Raoul. "Hee!" In any event, even more forest noises reach the storeroom shortly after the remaining two minions' exit, and long story short, Delirious El Deano sporks those last two guys with The Knife That Can Kill Anything Except When It Usually Can't, after which he hurls their rapidly cooling corpses through the basement door so they might smash twelve or so feet to the floor in a cascade of photogenic splinters. You know, just because. Dean quickly frees Bendy Lisa and The Brat from their pillar, but there's one tiny little issue that anyone who's ever watched this show before could have seen coming from miles and miles and miles away: Bendy Lisa's actually been possessed, and her demonically enhanced self snatches The Brat up by his throat while swiping The Knife from Dean's hand. D'OH! Demonically Enhanced Bendy Lisa lets her eyes flip beetle-black just in time to have them gobbled up by the METAL TEETH CHOMP!

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