Episode Report Card
Demian: N/A | 4 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Call It "Just A-Drifting"
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Rattle, Rattle Tacky Blue Glitter ROAD SO FAR! And my, but this lengthy sequence certainly is comprehensive, isn't it? Shortly after Aerosmith's "Back In The Saddle" kicks in on the soundtrack, we whip through a recounting of every single major plot point from the first half of the season, from Secretly Psychotic Sammy's stealthy reentrance into Dreary El Deano's life way back during the boring premiere all the way through to Capital-D Death's rather indelicate resouling of said psycho in the last episode to air before the winter hiatus. In between those two events, we touch on -- among various other asinine things like fairies that I'm totally not going to mention, except for the part where I totally just did -- Bendy Lisa kicking Dreary El Deano's mopey yet still-tantalizing ass out of her house for good, Crowley ordering a moderately successful hunt for Alphas before getting his delightfully snarky self immolated by My Sweet Baboo, the temporarily restrained Alpha Vampire cryptically noting that "we all have our mothers," and the existence of Purgatory, to which, apparently, all those nasty little beasties that go bump in the night descend after Our Intrepid Heroes run them through industrial-sized woodchippers and such. Oh, and there's that whole thing about how Darling Sammy's flayed soul will send him screaming to the nuthouse should anyone dare reinsert it into his remarkably healthy and broad-shouldered frame, but I'm assuming you're all as sick of that crap as I am, so let's jump ahead to take in the...

...Rattle, Rattle Tacky Blue Glitter NOW!, shall we? Thunder rumbles beneath as the NOW! makes its mincing way towards the front of the screen, and just as the shot cuts over to an extreme close-up of an obviously imperiled brunette's anxiety-ridden face, lightning strikes, the better to blind us all with the reflected flash blazing forth from her heavily glossed lips. We're then treated to an absolutely abysmal CGI rendering of a single-prop airplane wobbling through what's meant to be a roiling and raging nighttime storm until the camera finally slides back inside the cockpit, where the anxiously glossed brunette's pilot and apparent paramour too-calmly asks, "How ya doin'?" "Great!" the anxiously glossed brunette sarcastically snaps back. "Penny," her apparent paramour smoothly coos, thereby gifting the anxiously glossed brunette with her proper character name for this evening's festivities, "it's gonna be okay -- you know, a lot more people died in the shower." Several of them on this very show, if memory serves, though I should probably avoid referencing appalling past episodes when I've got an appalling present episode to slog through, yes?

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