Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 1 USERS: C+
The Hardy Boys Vanquish The Charmed Ones

Motel Of The Week, which is actually "The Conquistador." Hee. Sam splashes water on his face in the bathroom while outside, Dean's decided to take a little head-clearing stroll past the cabins. Suddenly, all of the lights start buzzing and blinking and flickering on and off. DUN! Oh, my bad. It's just Princess Sparkle, there to kick-start the Weekly Summation with Dashing El Deano, and as I was completely over this episode about twenty minutes ago, let's keep this brief, shall we? "By all means!" Thank you, Raoul. Long story short, Princess Sparkle was, indeed, a human flung into the fiery pits of Hell as a result of her amorous encounters with Demonic Piper way back during The Black Death, and eventually, after a lengthy period of time, she somehow got herself transformed into a demon, as all human souls do eventually. Just go with it. No, seriously. No. Seriously. Just go with it, because we've got another three and a half goddamned minutes of these two blathering at each other, and I want this over, like, last week. In any event, Ruby's in fact never met a fellow demon who wasn't originally human. For some reason, this surprises Dean, despite the fact that it was established during the first season that everything they fight -- ghosts, shape-shifters, their worthless bastard of a so-called father -- was human at some point. Eventually, however, he decides to allow her this point, and of course then begins to fret about What It All Means For Him. Princess Sparkle is all, "Duuuuuh, halfwit. Have you not been listening to a fucking word I've said?" Dean: "...Maybe?" So, Princess Sparkle lays it all out for him in no uncertain terms: Because of The Deal, Dean will eventually, with time, become the thing he hates most. No, not his father. A demon, just like her. Only not just like her, because for some reason, while every other demon in Hell had his or her lingering humanity burnt away in the neverending fire, Ruby somehow managed to emerge from the centuries-long ordeal with some tattered remnant of herself intact. And that's why she wants to help Sam -- so he can win The War That's Going To Start Any Minute Now, We Promise, and thereby save the world she so fondly remembers from her time topside. "Why, that makes all the sense in the world!" Sarcasm is so ugly on you, Raoul. Tsk. "Hee!" In any event, Dean's barely had time to process this last bit of exposition when Princess Sparkle vanishes as quickly and quietly as she'd arrived. The camera leaps overhead to linger upon Our Intrepid Hero, lonely and forlorn in the motel parking lot, before finally cutting to black.

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