Mannequin 3: The Reckoning

Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 2 USERS: C
The Hardy Boys Experience Acute Renal Failure

So, Darling Sammy pops up from out of nowhere to save the day, and he hustles Ratbag Johnny into the nearby employee lunch room, where he immediately sets to salting all of the windows and doors. "What's going on?" Ratbag Johnny demands, dabbing at the lurid and still-oozing gash on his forehead with a handy tea towel. "That was a ghost," Darling Sammy sneers, "trying to kill you for being a dick!" Ratbag Johnny makes with the familiar "That's crazy talk!" noises we've heard from scores of other would-be victims in similar situations on this show, only this time around, Our Intrepid Hero has absolutely no patience for any of it, and he snaps that Ratbag Johnny will end up as dead as his friends if he doesn't tell Sam what happened to Rose, now. After a few very long moments during which Ratbag Johnny repeatedly licks his lips while Darling Sammy glowers at him, Ratbag Johnny finally protests, "It was just a stupid joke!" "What did you do?" Sam exasperatedly sighs, taking a seat at the lunch room's table for the lengthy monologue from Ratbag Johnny that's sure to follow. "We made Rose think she had a secret admirer," Ratbag Johnny admits, and with that, it's time for a...

...FLASHBACK! Shy Rose, looking almost Amish in this initial shot, opens her sweatshop locker and smiles when she finds a single red rose lying atop her possessions. As she gently picks it up to press the bloom against her nose, the camera slides over to a nearby table, where the gnome titters to himself at the sight of Rose going all pie-eyed over a flower until the tubby schlub whacks him on the arm. "I don't think the girl had ever been asked out in her life," Ratbag Johnny reveals during a momentary hop back to the present before we leap once more into the past to watch as Rose next finds a box of chocolates waiting for her in the break room. "Honestly?" Ratbag Johnny continues in voiceover as Rose opens the box to find a card. "We just thought she was kind of pathetic." The camera's switched over for a Rose P.O.V. of the card, which reads, "Meet me XO Apartment B 426 Maple Ave." "We knew she'd take the bait," Ratbag Johnny's voiceover states.

Sure enough, when next we see her, Flashback Rose is making her way down a dimly lit hallway, dressed rather prettily in something soft and floral, with her hair hanging down loose around her shoulders. "She was so excited," Ratbag Johnny's voiceover narrates as Rose eases open the door to Apartment B, "poor girl never saw it coming." Flashback Rose approaches the apartment's dining area to place her hand on the shoulder of the gentleman now seated at the table. Of course, the gentleman is actually a carefully done-up mannequin from the factory, and at Rose's touch, the thing immediately slides off its chair to break apart on the floor. Flashback Ratbag and his merry band of asshats immediately emerge from their hiding place in the apartment's bathroom to point and laugh at the hapless and humiliated seamstress, who angrily tells them all to go to hell before dashing towards the door. Unfortunately, she trips on the carpet and slams head-first into a coffee table, the impact opening up a terribly familiar-looking gash on her forehead, and by the time Flashback Ratbag and his merry band of asshats make it over to her side, sad Rose is dead. "We didn't mean for it to happen," Ratbag Johnny's voiceover insists, and indeed, the evidence as presented does support his claim, but what happens next could probably be seen as unforgivable. Flashback Ratbag makes to call the police, but Flashback Schlub bats the phone out of his hands, insisting that the cops'll charge them all with involuntary manslaughter, so Flashback Ratbag and his merry band of asshats bury Sad Rose's sad remains out in the woods.

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