Meet The New Boss

Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 5 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Keep Losin', When They Oughta Not Bet

Next thing we know, Dean's wandered into the Emporium kitchen, and just as he begins rifling through Bobby's refrigerator for more beer, Darling Sammy wanders onto the scene with a hale and hearty "Hey!" Sam's tremendous paw is wrapped up in a wad of gauze, but aside from that, he seems little worse for the wear, much to Dean's vocal surprise. The two natter away at each other -- oh, Lord, do they natter away at each other -- and I get so bored with it all that I actually focus on the CW's bug for Ringer, which the graphic insists is a "NEW HIT SERIES," and blow it out your ass, you shitty, shitty little audience-hemorrhaging netlet. ANY-way, Sam insists he's fine, so Dean invites him back out to the yard to chat -- AGAIN, SOME MORE -- about recent developments, but the instant Dean's out the door, the camera goes all wacky with the Dutch angles and such, so we know Something's Not Quite Right With Darling Sammy. Sure enough, ominous tinkly noises assault the soundtrack, and Sam goes, "Whaaaaaaa?" before they unceremoniously drop the whole thing to zip on over to the next scene, 'cause that's the way they decided to roll with this bullshit tonight, I guess.

Though I suppose I shouldn't complain, because the next scene does rise to a certain amount of awesomeness after its eye-rollingly tedious start. We've shot over to the "Lady Of Serenity Church," where the sign outside commands us to "BELIEVE IN GOD," for "HE WALKS AMONG US," and after we linger on the chapel's quaint fa├žade for a moment, we head inside just in time to be harangued by the congregation's vociferously anti-gay minister. By the way he emphasizes the church's funeral pickets, we're obviously meant to associate him with a certain notorious Middle American preacher, but to be honest with you, this guy isn't nearly cadaverous enough to pass as the person in question. Well, you know. Not yet. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" God, Raoul, would you wait for it? Jesus! "Oh, I do apologize, I'm sure! But it seems like we've been waiting for years for a nice bit of bloodshed, does it not!?" Point to the dizzy lizard on the overstuffed armchair. "Hooray!" Now, would you let me get on with it so we can get this proselytizing dicksmack off my goddamned television set already? "By all means! Pray continue!" I see what you did there. "Hee!"

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