Meet The New Boss

Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 5 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Keep Losin', When They Oughta Not Bet

Castiel -- looking terribly pleased with himself, as well he should -- smiles down upon Pastor Dicksmack's rapidly cooling corpse, then turns to reassert his divinity for the benefit of Pastor Dicksmack's former congregants before ambling back down the aisle towards the doors. Just before he exits, however, a sudden attack of...something or other afflicts his adorable form, and he staggers against one of the pews while strange voices whisper his name. My Godly Baboo, momentarily afflicted, glances up at the chapel's stained-glass window, which features a childish rendering of Jesus cuddling a lamb, then collects himself and continues on his way out. But what's this? The pew's wood has been charred by the mere touch of his hand! DUNZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz! Also, Castiel swapped out that window while we weren't looking, and Cuddly Jesus has been replaced by a stern-faced image of My Badass Baboo. I hate to admit this, but it's making me snicker.

Meanwhile, back in BORING!, Darling Sammy futzes around deep within the bowels of the Emporium basement when suddenly, all the lights go red! No, seriously, that's it: The lights go red. That's some cheap-ass motherfucking effects, my friends. Even cheaper? The spooooky close-up on a drippy chunk of tuna speared by a fishhook. Gee, I'm sure glad they decided to renew this series for another season, aren't you? In any event, and long story short, Sam eventually snaps out of it and heads upstairs. There, he finds Bobby and Dean glued to the TV, where "CBA News" is reporting on the "sudden deaths of some two hundred religious leaders" across the country, and I gotta hand it to My Godly Baboo, 'cause that's certainly a good start. "Amen!" Oh, Raoul. "Hee!" "The Vatican has yet to issue a statement," the CBA newslady informs us, "but some are already calling this 'an act of God.'" Dean frowns as one of Pastor Dicksmack's former congregants breathily gives witness to Castiel's general awesomeness like so: "We all saw him! No beard -- he was young, and sexy!" Back off, bitch. That feathery-haired little psychopath is mine.

Dean, outraged, snaps off the set, but that doesn't stop the subsequent montage of overheard news snippets, during which we learn that My Godly Baboo's on a righteous rampage, eliminating, among others, The Ku Klux Klan and "New Age motivational speakers." By the end of it, we've landed out in the Emporium yard, where Our Intrepid Heroes chat -- AGAIN, SOME MORE -- about recent developments, the upshot of which is...absolutely nothing, as it turns out. Next!

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