Mommie Dearest

Episode Report Card
Demian: A | 5 USERS: A+
What Are Hardy Boys Doing In This Closet?
he bejesus out of Eve, and it doesn't even give me sunburn?" Sam quickly argues that the ash might function the same way as iron or silver does -- you know, harmless to humans, but deadly to everything else -- but this does little to quell Dean's newfound fears, especially because they still don't know where Mother's been hanging out as of late. Bobby suggests they give My Sweet Baboo a ring, as Castiel might be able to track her with his Heavenly Whatever, and both Bobby and Sam proceed to stare expectantly at Dean. "Why does it always gotta be me who makes the call, huh?" Dean complains before protesting, "It's not like [Castiel] lives in my ass!" On cue, My Sweet Baboo flutters in directly behind Dean, who yelps and leaps away from his angelic boyfriend with a petulant, "Get out of my ass!" "I was never in your..." Castiel begins before letting the sentence trail off, and the two eye each other a bit -- dare I say it? -- ruefully for a very long moment. "AWWWWK-WAAAARD!" trills Raoul, by now thoroughly recovered from the sheer awesomeness of the opening sequence, and that is quite the astute observation on your part, my scaly friend. "Thanks!" Unfortunately, we've a lot of exposition to cover, so might I plow through it? "Well! Someone's got to plow something, and as that darling little man in the trench coat seems most unwilling to do so, it might as well be you!" Don't tease My Sweet Baboo, Raoul. "Hee!"

So, where was I? Oh, yes: Castiel reluctantly admits neither he nor any of his angelic brethren are able to locate Mother at the moment, so Super-Smart Sammy suggests they summon a sympathetic beastie to the Emporium for an assist. Surprisingly enough, the others quickly agree to this plan, and the next thing we know, Castiel's fluttered out and back in again with Lenore, the doe-eyed cow-sucking vampire from Season Two. "Who?!" Exactly, Raoul. Lenore glances around at her new and entirely unexpected surroundings, then bolts in a panic towards the cellar's depths, stopping only when she realizes she's trapped. She turns her grimy, haggard face to Our Intrepid Heroes and stares at them in silence until Dean carefully steps forward to ask if she remembers them. "I remember," she admits, all skittish and such before reminding them, "Your hunter friend almost killed me." "If it makes you feel any better," Sam offers, "he turned into a vampire, and I chopped his head off." "With razor wire!" Dean emphasizes, grinning as he adds, "Wicked!" "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" shrieks Raoul, all but swooning at the mere thought of that particular scene, and your faithful recapper and his faithful recapping companion take a moment to reminisce fondly over the awesomeness of seasons past. "That was beautiful!" True, but my favorite is still that security guard getting his head chopped off in the elevator. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Unless my favorite's that monster Bobby ran through his neighbor's industrial-strength woodchipper. "AAAI-EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Sigh. Memories! "[Sniff!] I'm getting a little emotional!" As am I, Raoul. As am I.

Okay, that's enough of that. "Rats!" Don't worry, hon -- I'm happy to say we have yet to hit our quota of violence and gore for this evening, so hold tight while we deal with Lenore, okay? "Okay!" So, the cow-sucker quite reasonably wonders why they had Castiel haul her undead ass all the way over to the Emporium, and Sam and Dean explain the whole Mother sitch. Lenore's not happy about that in the least, because she's been doing her best to avoid Eve for the last several months. The other members of her little teetotaling coven, you see, fled shortly after Mother rose from Purgatory, because Eve almost immediately started broadcasting a series of messages directly into her spawn's brains, quickly driving Lenore's lessers to drink. Lenore herself hasn't been entirely immune to Mother's insistent imprecations, and in fact recently found herself chowing down on some hapless sixteen-year-old she managed to lure into the hovel she'd been hiding out in, but Our Intrepid Heroes don't care so much about that as they do about the psychic connection Mother's established with her offspring. Does this mean Lenore knows where Eve is at this very moment? It does, and it also means Mother's likely eavesdropping on their conversation. "I might as well be a video camera!" Lenore moans. Bobby correctly notes this robs the gang of the element of surprise, but they vow to carry on as planned, anyway, and after Sam blurts out a bit of asinine psychobabble I'll not be bothering to transcribe, Lenore drops a dime on Mother's current coordinates: Grants Pass, Oregon.

"And now she knows you're coming," Lenore glooms. The boys plus Bobby and Castiel don't care, and the four make moves to leave before Lenore calls out, "Hold on! I didn't tell you this out of the goodness of my heart -- I need something." "What?" Sam bites. "Kill me!" Lenore pleads. She can't go on living with herself because of the voices in her head and wah, and Sam and Dean insist they can lock her in the panic room until Mother's been neutralized and blah, and I can feel Raoul slipping rapidly into a Coma Of Boredom and gah, so it's really quite fortunate that My Sweet Baboo steps forward at this juncture to sear the addled brain straight out of Lenore's filthy skull. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Castiel quietly places a hand on the back of Lenore's head, and instantly, a brilliant white light shoots first from her eyes before burning its way out of every single hole in her head, even going so far as to incinerate her cheeks. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" It's incredibly disgusting, and by that I mean it's one of the best death effects they've featured all season long. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" And when it's over, what's left of Lenore drops to the concrete, dead, with streams of My Sweet Baboo's holy smoke still drifting up from the scorched gash that used to be her face. "GOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Sam and Dean gape at Castiel all, "The hell you do that for?" "We needed to move this along," My Sweet Baboo benignly replies. Ha!

Moments later, Our Intrepid Heroes plus Bobby arrive in Grants Pass thanks to my man Castiel's mad fluttering skillz. They spend their first few moments in town taking in the seeming normalcy of various random Oregonians going about their daily business until Dean remarks, "Well. I was expecting more Zombieland and less Pleasantville." "Just because it looks quiet," Bobby warns, "don't mean it is -- especially if she's got a clue we're coming." "I'm gonna need a computer," Bobby notes, so the four traipse off to...

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