Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | 4 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Do The Monster Mash
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

There is no then. There is no now. There's only old time movie magic, so don't furrow your brow. Don't adjust your sets. Don't touch that dial. Let go of your angst. Release that bile. Life was so easy in black and white. Wrong is evil and good is right. Pop your corn. Fill your drink. Walk to your couch and into it sink. Forget the myth arc. Suspend disbelief. Sit back for an hour of comic relief.

Suspenseful music swells and the old black and white WB crest appears on the screen. It takes me back to watching the Saturday "Creature Double Feature," on one of the local independent channels (one if which is now a CW affiliate). "WARNER BROS. PICTURES INC." is written across it, and I am eight-years-old and hoping my mother is too busy with housework to tell me the upcoming show is too scary for me. "Warner Bros. Presents SUPERNATURAL" appears across a shot of a cloudy and ominous sky. The credits -- which fit right in with the old time monster movie theme -- roll. Night falls, and a crescent moon shines on the mist rising from a wooded valley. Lightning flashes in the distance; a slick black car makes its way down (a beautifully shot) winding, wet road and past a sign reading: "Welcome to Pennsylvania." Lightning strikes again, and the sign reads: "Welcome to Transylvania" for just a second. Inside the car are two men -- their features look impossibly chiseled on black and white film. The driver says, "The radio around here sucks." Dean! Sam! Baby! I nearly forgot I was watching Supernatural. Sam reviews research materials by flashlight, as Dean sets up the story for us. "C'mon man. Jobs don't get much weirder than this, you know? Dead vic with a gnawed on neck, body drained of blood, and a witness who swears up and down that it was a vampire." Sam is distracted. "No, uh, I agree, it's a Hell of a case." Dean tries to spark his enthusiasm. Sam reminds Dean that the world is coming to an end, like that's something you forget. Dean reckons they can't save the world today, but they can chop off some vampires' heads. He's excited for an old-fashioned monster hunt. "It's about time the Winchesters got back to tackling a straight-forward, black and white case." Ouch, and so say we all. The shot fades old-style -- a circle gets smaller and smaller until the screen is completely black.

Daytime: the Winchesters arrive at Oktoberfest. There are tourists, food, band music, pretty waitresses in St. Pauli Girl-style uniforms and our Winchesters. The boys look like movie stars in Hollywood's heyday, in their best (and only) suits and ties, except Sam needs a haircut. Don't they ever pass by a barber shop? They must; Dean's hair is close cropped. He tells Sam they've still got to see the new Raiders movie. Sam's already seen it. Dean is offended. "Without me?" Sam says, "You were in Hell." Dean says, "That's no excuse." I'm sure he went to the film looking for a way to get you out, Deano. Dean rushes off to get them each a big pretzel, and a beautiful blonde woman sashays by, wearing a dirndl with the skirt up to there and the neckline down to there. She says, "Guten tag." The boys can't help but stare, and Dean says, "Guten tag, yourself." They spot the local sheriff who's talking to someone who looks like Eddie Munster at first glance, but we never see him again. They introduce themselves to Sheriff Dietrich as FBI Agents Angus and Young. Someday that nonsense is going to get them caught, but not in our fabulous monster movie!

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