Episode Report Card
Demian: A | 11 USERS: A+
The Cracky Boys Crack The Crack Crackman Of The Crackopacrack

Biggerson's. Aftermath. The henchdemons drag Dean into the restaurant's main dining room, where Famine's been eagerly awaiting Our Intrepid Hero's entrance. "What did you do to him?" Dean demands with a quick jerk of his head in his angelic boyfriend's direction. "You set your dog on me," Famine wheezes, "so I just threw him a steak." Castiel, oblivious, continues to shove cold, limp meat into his mouth. Dean snarls something stupid regarding Famine's methods, so Famine retorts that he really doesn't have to do all that much to push people over the edge -- especially in the United States, where our already-ravenous consumer culture has turned us into "a swarm of locusts in stretch pants" who nevertheless are "all still starving" because we've apparently failed to realize that "hunger doesn't just come from the body." "It also comes from the soul!" Famine hisses triumphantly. I'm certain Dean would chide Famine for unleashing so facile and sophomoric a bit of social criticism so late in the episode, were Dean not a complete fucking idiot. Gotta admit that that "locusts in stretch pants" line was pretty good, though. In any event, that whole Starving Soul crap conveniently leads us into the next segment of this neverending bout of blathering, as we finally get Famine's explanation for why Dashing El Deano and Dashing El Deano alone has remained impervious to Famine's influence throughout the course of the evening's festivities: "You're not hungry, Dean, because inside, you're already dead!" Good to know. Thanks, Famine!

Fortunately for my rapidly dwindling sanity, Crackie The Crackheaded Crack-Crack cracks into the cracker at crack crack, Crackie's cracky, cracky crack crackycrackly cracking with crack. Famine, bless him, attempts to make with the pleasantries and the sweet-talk and such, but Crackie The Crackheaded Crack-Crack crack cracking crack crack crack, cracker crack Crackie The Crackheaded Crack-Crack cracks his Cracky Crack Of Crackcrackcrack, cracky cracking the crackcracks to crack their crackerly crack cracks of crack crackic crack to the crack. Dean is horrified. And once the henchdemons have thus been so efficiently dispatched, Famine sucks their still-lingering bitterly black clouds of dark demonic goo into what's passing for his digestive tract these days. Uh oh. Things are looking mighty grim for Team Free Crack at the moment, but Crackie The Crackheaded Crack-Crack cracks crack cracking the crack when Crackie cracks his Cracky Crack Of Crackcrackcrack to crack the cracky cracken crackerly crack cracks of crack crackic crack. Famine explodes. Well, I'm pretty sure, because one second he's there, and the next second he's gone, and after it's all over, My Sweet Baboo no longer has a hankering for cold, limp meat so, you know. You do the math. And as Crackie The Crackheaded Crack-Crack cracks crack from his crack, Despondent El Deano weeps his girly ass all the way into this evening's final METAL TEETH CHOMP!

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