Episode Report Card
Demian: A | 11 USERS: A+
The Cracky Boys Crack The Crack Crackman Of The Crackopacrack

Diamond Jack's. After some meaningless chit-chat, Our Intrepid Heroes crack open the demonically enhanced undertaker's suspicious-looking briefcase to find... an atomic bomb! "EEEEEEEEEEEEE! [Thunk!]" I was kidding! Oh, well -- too late now, I suppose. "Glalalalalalaalallalalalllaalalalah!" In any event, what Sam and Dean actually find is a human soul, which swirls up out of the briefcase to dazzle them for a moment before vanishing, and no, I don't get how this meshes with that whole Reaper thing they've already established, so don't bother asking me, because My Sweet Baboo's just returned to this week's motel room with a bagful of burgers and is now stuffing his face with flame-broiled beef products, and I'd rather focus on that at the moment, if you don't mind. "When did you start eating?" Dean demands. "Exactly!" a pop-eyed Castiel excitedly replies. "My hunger's a clue!" "For what?" Our Dear Boys guh in unison. "This town isn't suffering from some love-gone-wrong effect," Castiel explains around whopping mouthfuls of bacon double cheeseburger, "it's suffering from hunger -- starvation, to be exact. Specifically, Famine." And yes, my capitalization of "Famine" there was deliberate, for this show is finally about to introduce us all to The Third Horseman Of The Apocalypse. First, though, we must endure yet more expository blather, this bit regarding how, precisely, Famine affects people, and it all basically boils down to this: Famine somehow figures out what it is that you most desire -- food, drugs, sex, affection, acceptance, acclamation, whatever -- and makes you positively "rabid" for it, after which you gorge yourself on the desire of your choice until you choke on it and die. More or less. Castiel himself has developed a craving for off-brand Big Macs because, as you'll recall, he tends to starve his Vessel, and that Vessel is now exerting a certain amount of control over Castiel's behavior thanks to Famine's intervention. And of course, The Crackhead Ginormotron is lusting after demonically enhanced blood again because of Famine's influence, which leaves Dashing El Deano the odd man out at the moment, but we'll get to his problem eventually. In the meantime, let's meet Famine, shall we? "Glalalalalalaalallalalalllaalalalah!"

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