Episode Report Card
Demian: A- | 7 USERS: B
What The Hardy Boys Impose, That Men Must Needs Abide
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Rattle, Rattle Tacky Blue Glitter THEN! A very long time ago, Our Intrepid Heroes had the great good fortune to meet up with the lovely and talented Ellen Harvelle and her equally lovely and talented daughter, Jo. Unfortunately, Ellen and Jo then had to blow themselves up so Dashing El Deano and Darling Sammy could continue to fight Lucifer and all his many minions during last season's abortive Apocalypse. "Woe!" wails Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon, gracefully placing the back of a deeply mournful yet impeccably manicured paw against his forlorn forehead at the sad memory -- as well he should -- and while I'm sure you know I couldn't possibly agree with you more, my scaly friend, would you mind not interrupting me during the THEN!? I've a feeling we've a lot of ground to cover this evening, and it might be for the best if we get through this part of the episode as quickly as possible. "Oh, I do apologize, I'm sure!" Raoul shrieks, chipperly agreeable as always. "Please do continue!" Thanks.

Now, where was I? Oh, yes: So, after Ellen and Jo selflessly sacrificed themselves only to have the abortive Apocalypse fall apart of its own accord anyway, My Sweet Baboo and Balthazar -- Castiel's bestest friend ever, you'll recall, until Dashing El Deano came bow-leggedly stompy-clomping into his life -- had this huge, screamy argument about the civil war now raging in Heaven, during which Belthazor reminded My Sweet Baboo that the latter went far beyond rebellion last season and in fact "tore up the whole script and burned the pages" for everyone involved. So, you know. There's that. Also, were you aware that human souls held uncommon value? Well, you are now, and just in time to watch once more as Rufus Turner gives up his during the last episode to air thus far this season. "Woe!" Knock it off, Raoul. "Ooops! Hee!" ANY-way, the THEN! ends with Sad Bobby once again pouring out some Johnnie Walker Blue for his freshly deceased homie, and with that, we're off to the...

...Rattle, Rattle Tacky Blue Glitter NOW! As the NOW! advances towards us from the inky depths of the television screen, the camera slowly fades up on a rain-dampened set of garage doors the just-appearing location card tells us is in "Chester, Pennsylvania." One of those garage doors presently trundles up, and a casually dressed gentleman props it open with a stick before snatching up his nearby beer to saunter back inside towards a workbench. This evening's first piece of Monster Chow then sets the beer down beside a dismembered lawnmower rotor so he might bang away at one of the thing's bent blades for a while, but when our imperiled guest reaches over to grab the bottle for a swig, the beer quite mysteriously has gone missing. DUN! "What heartless wretch would steal that poor man's booze?!" shrieks Raoul, understandably distressed, and just between you and me, doll, I'm pretty sure we'll be getting an answer to your perfectly reasonable question sooner rather than later. "Well!" Raoul shrieks again, moderately mollified. "Thank heavens for that!" I'm also pretty sure that "sooner" will be getting here a hell of a lot faster if you don't keep interrupting me every three sentences. "I do believe you're right!" Raoul shriekingly agrees, surprisingly enough. "I shall be as silent as the grave!" Promise? "Promise!" Excellent.

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