Episode Report Card
Demian: A- | 7 USERS: B
What The Hardy Boys Impose, That Men Must Needs Abide

And as Raoul toddles off into his den to whip up a couple of warming flagons for himself, Dean sotto-voces a sarcastic "He's doing fantastic!" at Sam. "Yeah," Sam replies in kind, all but rolling his eyes, "this isn't about Rufus at all." "Whaddya wanna do?" Dean grumbles, raising his voice just a tad now that Sad Bobby's pretty much out of earshot. "I mean, we can't just sit here and watch him poop out his liver." Fortunately, Sam has a plan, and that plan involves hitting the road to investigate the string of mysterious deaths that's been plaguing a single family in Chester, Pennsylvania, as of late, of which the opening sequence's represented the third. Sam produces a newspaper clipping from his jacket pocket, and as Dean scans the relevant article, he wonders if "a family curse" might be involved, but unfortunately, Sad Bobby staggers into the kitchen at this point to cut the conversation short before Sam gets a chance to reply. Dean quickly invites Sad Bobby along for the road trip, and Sad Bobby just as quickly shoots that idea all to hell. "Just get out of my house," he mutters as he swipes his Irish coffee out of Sam's gigantic mitts. "You're driving me nuts!"

Our Intrepid Heroes wisely decide to let Mister Crankypants sulk all by his lonesome if that's what the goddamned hairy ingrate wants, and the next thing we know, Sam and Dean have repaired to the Emporium's lot to depart. In The Second Ominous Sign That Things Are Not Quite Right With Our Intrepid Heroes This Evening, they sling their bags not into Metallicar, but rather into a garishly two-toned Mustang hardtop that's sporting their old Kansas license plates. Dun-dun-DUN! And in The Third Ominous Sign That Things Are Not Quite Right With Our Intrepid Heroes This Evening, a billboard swinging above the Emporium's lot identifies the place as the "B & E Scrap Yard." Dun-dun-dun-dun-DUN! Yeah, yeah, I know: That's gonna get real old, real fast, so for all our sakes, I hope they figure out what the hell's really going on in the next two minutes. In any event, the boys embark, and the shot cuts to leap high above that orange and black monstrosity, where it spins around for a bit as the Mustang disappears towards the Interstate.

Meanwhile, back in the Emporium kitchen, Bobby's about to pour himself another belt of rotgut when a shotgun barrel enters the frame to bat his hand away from the bottle. "What the...?" Bobby splutters as the camera sweeps up to land on the shotgun owner's face, and in The Fourth Ominous Sign That Things Are Not Quite Right With Our Intrepid Heroes This Evening, that owner is Ellen. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-DUN! "Tell me you haven't been drinking this whole time," Ellen wearily sighs as only she can, and I feel absolutely no shame in admitting that Samantha Ferris's mere presence in this episode immediately guarantees at least a B+ from yours truly for the overall effort. Not that those letter grades mean a damn thing in the first place, but still. Welcome back, Ellen! I'm sure Raoul would be writhing about atop his overstuffed armchair positively apoplectic with delight over your return at this moment, but he's taking an unusually long time whipping up those flagons of his. Hey, lizard! "What?!" Hurry that oversized green ass of yours up -- Ellen's back! "Ellen!? EEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

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