Episode Report Card
Demian: A- | 7 USERS: B
What The Hardy Boys Impose, That Men Must Needs Abide

The next morning finds Dean masquerading as a genealogist from the local university -- just go with it -- as he chats with an utter douchebag of an ambulance chaser in the latter's lightly sleazy office. Needless to say, Dean's utterly inexpert interviewing technique -- a technique that involves him bluntly asking questions like "Did Grandma ever piss off a gypsy?" -- soon has this "Shawn Russo" person throwing Our Intrepid Hero off the premises, and once Dean's reached the sidewalk outdoors, he rings Sam up on his cell to compare notes. Sam, whom we find emerging from the Chester courthouse, hasn't had much luck on his end, either, learning only that Clan Russo's forebears emigrated from Calabria in 1912, after which there ensued, as Sam puts it, "four generations of picket fence" with nothing to indicate the family's been cursed. "If these people are the Waltons," Dean grumps as he climbs into his hateful bicolor monstrosity, "why the hell are they dying?"

Cut to the E. J. Smith Travel Agency, where we find a casually attired ginger sporting a gaudy Isadora Duncan-length scarf as she attempts to sell a smart little Havana gambling vacation to one of her clients over the phone. You see, in The Fifth Ominous Sign That Things Are Not Quite Right With Our Intrepid Heroes This Evening, Cuba's displaced Las Vegas as America's top holiday destination, featuring as it does a "new Trump casino" with a wave pool for the kids. Another poster in the agency, incidentally, advertises Detroit as the country's premiere domestic travel spot, so I guess I should count that as The Sixth Ominous Sign That Things Are Not Quite Right With Our Intrepid Heroes This Evening, but that's not important right now because what is important right now is the fact that in the middle of Ginger's spiel, everything on screen suddenly grinds to a halt. DUN! Presently, an officious little blonde with Liz Lemon glasses marches into the otherwise frozen office to look around. After a few moments, Blondie -- who's toting a small green ledger book in her left hand, by the by -- retrieves Ginger's car keys from her purse and slings them beneath a nearby copier. Evidently satisfied with her little prank, Blondie purses her lips and exits the scene, after which everything snaps back into motion again.

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