Episode Report Card
Demian: A- | 7 USERS: B
What The Hardy Boys Impose, That Men Must Needs Abide

...Sam and Dean are on the phone with Bobby, filling him in on recent developments. Fortunately, Bobby already knows who they're up against: Atropos, the eldest of Greek mythology's Fates, which naturally explains the thin braids of gold she's been leaving behind after each death. Unfortunately, you can't kill Fate -- or so Bobby claims -- and he suggests that the easiest solution to their current problem would be to re-sink the Titanic. Dean immediately objects to this, and in tones so strident that Bobby actually wonders, "What's got your panties in a clench?" Heh. "Nothing!" Dean hastily LIES, but Bobby's not buying that, so the boys are forced to reveal that should they re-sink the ship, Ellen and Jo will die. Bobby, of course, immediately changes his tune, and he orders Our Intrepid Heroes to figure out another way -- any other way -- to resolve the situation, and while he doesn't come right out and say it, I do believe the implication is that he's fine with 50,000 people dying as long as Ellen lives. To honest with you, so am I. "Me, too! SAVE ELLEN!" Alas, my scaly friend, I've a feeling the idiots responsible for this mess are about to screw us over on that one. "Phooey!" There, there, Raoul. "But...! But...! But Ellen is faaaaaaa-bulous! Why would those beasts bring her back, only to slaughter her again?!" Well, like I said: They're idiots. "[Sob!]" Oh, have another flagon, honey -- it'll at least dull the pain somewhat when they do kill her off later in the episode. "Thanks! I will! [Slurp!]"

Now, where were we? Oh, yes: "How do we save fifty thousand people?" Sam glums once Bobby's rather abruptly cut off the call. "We don't even know who they are." "Well, we know one," Dean sighs, pointing over to the motel room's nightstand, upon which rests the pamphlet he took from Shawn Russo's office. Douchebag looks like Pee-wee Herman in that picture they took of him, but that's neither here nor there, I suppose, for we must leap forward in time with Our Intrepid Heroes to land on the...

...street outside Shawn Russo's office the following morning, where the boys wait inside their infernal Mustang until the douchebag in question emerges from the building to chat with a whiplashed client for a bit before answering a call on his cell. Sam and Dean immediately disembark to chase after the imperiled douchebag, but Russo's so caught up in his loudly discussed plans to bribe a judge that he completely ignores both them and the out-of-control delivery van now barreling towards him down the alleyway. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Unfortunately, the delivery van's driver stomps on the brakes at the very last second, so Russo narrowly avoids getting eaten by the van's grille. "Drat!" Fortunately, the douchebag then steps off the sidewalk into oncoming traffic, so Russo does get splattered by a bus. "GOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Yes, they swiped that move directly from the first Final Destination movie, and yes, this is the second time they've actually used that move on this show, but Raoul doesn't care. "GOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Aw. He's awfully cute when he's caught up in one of his little grue-induced epileptic fits. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" And after Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki execute an extremely amusing series of double-takes in reaction to this entirely unexpected development, the METAL TEETH CHOMP! clamps down to drag them into the next commercial break.

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