Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: B | 1 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Get the Night Sweats

Outside, Dean observes that "nobody's family is totally normal and happy," and Sam thinks Max "sounded scared" when he talked about his old house. Dean takes his collar off as he gets in the Metallicar, declaring that they pay a visit to the Millers' old neighborhood.

Old neighborhood. The boys stand on the sidewalk, talking to an old codger who's lived there for "twenty years now" and who asks if they are "looking to buy?" Hee. Everybody just wants these two to stop pretending and settle down together already. Sam and Dean ask if he remembers the Millers. As always, they immediately hit pay dirt. Old Codger: "Is that poor kid [Max] okay?" Ding ding ding ding ding! Boy, these two have a knack for immediately falling upon exactly the right person to give them exactly the information they need to solve a case. Old Codger goes on to explain that Jim was a "mean drunk" that "used to beat the tar out of Max" and that Uncle Roger joined in. Old Codger continues, "The worst part, was the stepmother. She'd just stand there, checked out, never lifted a finger to protect him." Oh yes, a woman's inability to stop her raging drunk of a husband is SO MUCH WORSE than the raging drunk deciding to whale on a kid in the first place. Methinks somebody needs to enroll in a Womens' Studies course at the local college. ["Or dropped a dime to the police his own damn self if it was so bad. Yeah yeah, he said he 'almost called' a bunch of times, but whatevs." -- Sars] Dean picks up on the whole "stepmother" piece of info and Old Codger tells them that Max's "real mother died in some sort of accident. Car accident, I think." Meanwhile, Sam has started his grimacing and gasping until Old Codger takes notice and asks if he's okay. Sam says he is, but he clearly isn't, and Dean quickly thanks Old Codger and ushers Sam over to the car. Dean could have just said that Sam's coming down with a migraine instead of acting so shiftily. Before Sam even gets into the car, though, he stares straight out into space and then we get a shot of the street he's looking at through the Handheld Camera Shakes of Impending "Vision." We end up in the Miller kitchen, where Serial Mom is chopping vegetables and arguing with Max. She protests, "You know I never did anything," but Max points out that that was exactly the problem. This ManBoy is a real slobberer. Max approaches her slowly, angrily clenching about her never stopping "them, not once." As he gets closer, the butcher's knife floats off the cutting board and zooms over and hangs horizontally in front of her face. She backs up and begs Max to stop and we get far too long to look at the crappily executed computer-generated floating knife. Does post-production work on a Commodore 64 or something? We switch to a close-up profile of Serial Mom's right eyeball with the knife point about an inch away from her cornea. She gasps and her eyeball tears. Nice. Max continues to slobber and accuse; Serial Mom says she's sorry, but Max chalks the apology up to fear. Which, yes, ManBoy, you shove a knife in somebody's eye and her apologies probably won't be the most sincere. The knife pulls back a bit, and Serial Mom groans a bit right before the knife flies back at her and stabs her through the eye and out the back of her head, pinning her to the wall against which she was leaning.

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