Episode Report Card
Demian: A | 7 USERS: A
The Hardy Boys Are So Screwed

Elsewhere, Sam advances upon a closed door and slams it open to empty supply closet! He spins around to continue his search...only to ram right into Blondie and a couple of the other hostages! He bellows that their lives are in danger and sends them fleeing back down into the vault.

Meanwhile, Dean finally reenacts the scene from the top of the hour, and it plays out much as it did before, with one exception: No sooner has Dean's face appeared on TV than one of the lead detective's underlings shouts something about the FBI assuming control of the entire situation, effective immediately. Dean pushes the ailing security guard into the paramedics' waiting arms and quickly replaces the padlock on the bank's front doors. "We're so screwed," he mutters to himself. "Oh, you don't know the half of it, honey! Wheeeee!" Raoul, you scamp. Don't tease the fake people on the television set.

Over in a stairwell, Sam's stumbled upon the shifter's latest gooey set of droppings. He rings Dean via their cell phones to mope about this latest turn of events. Dean orders Sam to continue his search while Dean rounds everybody up again, some more.

Out on the street, not two minutes after Dean hit Channel 8's breaking news coverage, the FBI arrives in its many, many black vehicles to start throwing its weight around. Foremost amongst the agents is a no-bullshit, abrupt type named "Henriksen," in obvious tribute to the actor. By the way, the nickname "Agent Scooter Javert" quickly took hold for this character on the boards because of the Winchester-sized axe he has to grind this evening, but as Sam and Dean's lengthy list of suspected and actual crimes easily overwhelms Jean Valjean's one-time foray into the world of five-fingered discounts at the boulangerie, I'll be sticking to the character's proper name until I discover he's yet another of The Ceiling Demon's minions. Or something like that. In any event, Agent Henriksen and "Lieutenant Robards" whip 'em out and measure 'em. They quickly realize Henriksen's is bigger, so the feds take over the siege. "You have no idea what you're dealing with, do you?" Agent Henriksen sneers at Milwaukee's finest. "There is a monster in that bank, Robards!" I'd have given that a DUN!, but it's clear from the inclusion of Linda Blair's scene in the Crackle, Crackle THEN! that he's talking about El Deano, so whatever. By the way, did you know that when you type "Milwaukee's finest" into a search engine, the first result is for Blatz beer? "That's nothing!" Raoul snorts. "I typed in 'New York's finest,' and the first thing I saw was a listing for a straight-to-video masterpiece whose plot was described thusly: 'A cross-dresser helps three whores in their search for rich husbands.'" Oh, that's classy, Raoul. "I thought you'd appreciate it!"

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