Supernatural

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Demian: A- | 8 USERS: A+
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No Rest For The Wicked

"So that's you, huh?" sneering, taunting, name-calling El Deano challenges as he emerges from the shadows to surprise them both. "Our slutty little Yoda?" Oy. Again with the Star Trek. What kind of a nerd does The Kripkeeper think I am? "Well...!" Don't! "But you...!" I said no! "But you got the wrong mov...!" Stop it! "Hmph!" So. ANY-way, Princess Sparkle greets the new arrival with a too-bright smile on her face and a few witty remarks. Dean replies by punching her in the face! Well, after she calls him a "dumb, spineless dick," but never mind that because... "VIOLENCE!" roars Raoul, happily clapping his paws together with giddy amounts of delight now that we're finally getting some after waiting nearly twelve minutes for it. And then? Ruby nails him twice in the face with fists of her own before spinning into a roundhouse kick that biffs The Ginormotron into a post so she might continue to hand the stumpy little bow-legged midget his own equally tantalizing ass on a platter. "WANTON ACTS OF UNREPENTANT VIOLENCE!" Princess Sparkle boots El Deano repeatedly across the floor until she finally gets tired of the whole one-sided battle and hauls his bruised face up to hers so she can head-butt him against the stone foundation wall down there in whatever basement they're in, and when he lifts his head to smile at her, he's practically drooling blood onto the cement. "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" "The hell you grinnin' at?" Ruby pisses, drooling copious amounts of blood herself. Dean's smile simply broadens as he produces The Knife That Can Kill Anything from wherever he'd been storing the damn thing after he swiped it off her during the late scuffle. Pretty sneaky, Dean. Princess Sparkle, outraged, charges, but so sneaky is El Deano that Ruby's found herself ensnared in a devil's trap Dean spray-painted onto the basement ceiling in anticipation of her visit. After gloating for a moment, Our Intrepid And Slightly Damaged Heroes wearily drag their battered behinds up the stairs while Ruby rages at them from below. "You deserve Hell!" she shrills as their feet disappear from her line of sight. "And I wish I could be there, Dean! I wish I could smell the flesh sizzle off your bones! I wish I could be there to hear you scream!" "And I wish you'd shut your pie-hole," Dean tosses back, "but we don't always get what we want." And with that, Sam and Dean vanish into the METAL TEETH CHOMP!

Upstairs, the boys load various implements of demonic destruction with rock salt in silence for a while until Sam wonders if Ruby's telling the truth about his dormant abilities. Dean stares at him like Sam's some sort of side-show freak. "Quit looking at me like that," Sam frowns, averting his gaze. I don't know whether to laugh or whack Dean upside his judgmental, doomed head with a spoon. In any event, debate ensues until Dean seethes that crap about not making the same mistake again, and Sam flails his arms around, all, "I don't even know what that means!" so Dean patiently explains the entire situation to College Boy, here. Every single time one of them's been facing death, the other's been far too willing to trade away his soul. It happened with their worthless bastard of a so-called father when Dean was lying comatose at the beginning of the last season, it happened again with Dean when Sam was lying actually dead at the beginning of the last finale, it's happening again right this instant with Sam, and as far as Dean's concerned, that touchy-feely self-sacrificing yoga crap stops now, bitch. "All I'm saying," Dean ultimately admits after they've seated themselves side-by-side for a heartfelt chick-flick Suisse Mocha moment, "is that you're my weak spot. You are. And I'm yours. And those evil sons of bitches know it, too. I mean, what we'll do for each other? How far we'll go? They're using it against us!" "This sounds familiar!" Raoul brazenly interrupts, and be quiet, you shrieky fool! You're interrupting A Touching Scene. "Well, you'll excuse me, I'm sure, but if you failed to transcribe this speech the first time it was delivered, why are you bothering with it now?! Have we no VIOLENCE to witness!? Is there no GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE?!" You're right, my scaly friend, you're right: I have no excuse. I just thought it was kind of cute that The Kripkeeper had Dean unwittingly parrot Loki, or whatever the hell that guy's name was. "Unless the dear little doomed boy is not just mindlessly aping that tedious little speech from earlier in the season! There are no coincidences!" Wait, so you're saying...? "Yes!" The Trickster planted this...this made-of-fail speech into both their brains during that episode? "Yes!" Thereby ensuring Dean's ultimate doom in the season finale? "YES!" Raoul! You're awfully smart for someone whose brain is the size of a walnut. "Thank...HEY!" Oh, I kid.

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Supernatural

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