Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: A- | 8 USERS: A+
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No Rest For The Wicked

"Where is she?" Pat demands of his daughter-in-law when he shuffles into the kitchen. The daughter-in-law, who's spreading one last bit of chocolate icing on this massive and oddly pointed cake, whispers, "Upstairs, playing with Freckles." "We just sit here, we're dead!" Pat hisses at his wimp of a son, who promptly hisses back a cautionary, "She'll hear you!" "It's her or us," Pat insists, not taking any crap from the mealy-mouthed morons in front of him. "It's my baby girl!" Daughter-In-Law Of Pat mewls. "Not anymore!" Pat seethes. "There's something inside her!" "Shut your mouth!" Son Of Pat spits. "She's coming!" And sure enough, in prances some bucktoothed brat whose sporting a staggering amount of blood and guts sprayed down the front of her pretty pink party dress. "What's that?" Daughter-In-Law Of Pat more or less splutters. "Oh, Freckles was mean to me," the brat replies, and, okay, two things: One, the brat's actually Lilith's current hostess, as if that weren't obvious, and two, this child actress suh-huuuuuuuucks. That last line of hers was clearly overdubbed in post, and I'm willing to bet it was overdubbed by some fortysomething voice-over artist who specializes in demonic moppets of the female variety, because there's no way in hell that smooth, professional-sounding delivery's coming from this tiny embarrassment to the acting profession. NO WAY. So. ANYWAY, the surrounding adults are, of course, appalled by The Child Who Just Ruined The Entire Episode For Everyone, and before I start flinging Raoul's bowl of wriggly snacks at the television screen in disgust, I suppose I should note that this subplot's coming straight from The Twilight Zone -- where the family's name was also Fremont, natch -- and skip past the depressingly enacted bits that follow so we might rejoin...

...Our Intrepid Heroes, one of whom (and I'll let you guess which) is attempting to activate Metallicar. One problem: The engine's not turning over. Because Bobby The Bad-Ass yanked out the distributor cap! D'OH! "Where do you think you're going?" Bobby too-casually wonders, twirling the cap in question right beneath Dean's nose. Sam and Dean, instantly grumpy, disembark from the Impala to inform Bad-Ass Bobby that they'll no longer be requiring his services this evening. "Do I look like a ditchable prom date to you?" Bobby quite awesomely squints directly in Doomed El Deano's face. "Family don't end with blood, boy!" Well, Bobby, I hate to clompy stomp all over your most excellent point, there, but the Winchester family actually does tend to end with blood. Except when there's fire involved, of course, in which case it ends with ash by way of blood, but let's not get too technical about it. The point is, don't let these two dunderheaded goons -- who might possibly be unwittingly acting under Evil Influence at the moment -- get you killed, okay? Kisses. In any event, Bobby correctly guesses that Dean's been plagued with hellhound-related hallucinations as of late, thereby somehow proving his use to them, or whatever, and flips the distributor cap into Dean's doomed chest with, "I'll follow. And don't be stoppin' to pee every ten minutes, either!" Did I mention that Bobby is awesome?

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Supernatural

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