Of Grave Importance

Episode Report Card
Demian: A- | 3 USERS: A-
You in Danger, Hardy Boys

...SNOT ROCKET! Not that you care, but Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon is still missing. Yes, I dutifully checked out the manicure palaces of Bay Ridge over the Easter weekend as promised, and no, I didn't find any trace of the dizzy lizard in any of those places, either. Sigh. I'm just leaving it all up to fate or The Dragon God or whatever now, as I've really run out of ideas. Poor Raoul.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes: Once the dripping is done, we fade up on the interior of The Tides to find Darling Sammy perusing the menu, even though we know he's just going to order a cup of hot water with a chicken bone in it and a bowl of salted ice cubes, while Dashing El Deano scans that morning's copy of The Santa Rosa Press Democrat to note that Richard Roman "is funding another archeological dig." "The guy moves more dirt than the Drudge Report," Dashing El Deano harrumphs, and thanks for the trenchant cultural reference from 1998, dude. After the two chit-chat about the news article for a bit, Darling Sammy checks his watch and frowns, "Annie's not usually this late, is she?" "Never," Dean grunts, and as he whips out his cell phone to give their tardy lunch date a buzz, Sam cocks one of his waspish eyebrows to smile, "You know she and Bobby had a thing, right?" Dean's eyes widen, so we know he's a LYING LIAR WHO LIES when he too-casually claims, "Yeah, I knew that," before going back to punching Annie's number into his phone. Then, unable to stop himself, he throws Sam A Look and squints, "Really?" "Kind of a foxhole thing," Sam dishes. "Very Hemingway." "Huh!" Dean replies, clearly surprised, and he takes another few moments before reluctantly admitting, "She and I kind of went Hemingway this one time, too." "That happens," Sam too-casually shrugs. And then he shoots Dean A Look of his own. "What, you too?" Dean yelps. "Look, it was a while back," Sam hastens to explain, "and we ended up on the same case, and she was stressed, and I... I didn't have a soul." That lucky bitch. I should hate her with all the burning passion of a fiery and entirely unreasonable Internet rage, but I've got to admit: Miss Annie has excellent taste. Well, except for that whole Bobby thing, of course, but we all have similarly regrettable experiences in our past, do we not? Also: You of course realize this means Miss Annie is dead, yes? I mean, given the way that opening sequence ended, and taking into consideration Sam's notorious track record as far as the dear boy's paramours are concerned, there's no way in hell she's still alive, right? Right. So, let's keep this moving, then, shall we?

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