Of Grave Importance

Episode Report Card
Demian: A- | 3 USERS: A-
You in Danger, Hardy Boys

...Dead Annie's motel room, where Dashing El Deano showers while Darling Sammy reads various factoids aloud to him from Dead Annie's research. Meanwhile, Dead Bobby tries and fails to push some loose change across the table, grumbling to himself the entire time. The additional details Darling Sammy dredges up aren't particularly interesting -- Fat Dexter also snuffed a couple of the bordello's hookers before getting himself shot to death inside the manor -- and you know they aren't going to push the camera inside the shower so we can sneak a peek at Wet Dean, so the focus of the scene of course falls onto Dead Bobby, who huffs and gruffs his way through a couple of unimportant lines of dialogue before stumbling across a cunning plan. He darts into the bathroom, stares at the fogged-up mirror for a bit, steels his resolve, and...

...crap! I totally forgot about this bit. We've cut back over to Stately Van Ness Manor, where two probably-gay dolts with a digital video camera try to bore us to death until we...

...shoot back to Dead Annie's motel room, where Dean emerges from his refreshing shower to find the following scrawled across that fogged-up mirror: "Annie trapped in House." Dun-dun-DUN! Well, for Our Intrepid Idiots, at any rate.

Meanwhile, back at Stately Van Ness Manor, The Probable Gays have forced their way into the foyer, where they proceed to bore us some more until...

...oh, for Christ's sake, would you please knock it off with this fucking back-and-forth already? We know Dead Bobby wrote the message on the mirror, and we know The Probable Gays are gonna bite it, so just fucking get to the goddamned point already, okay? Jesus! GAH! ANY-way, Dean calls out, "Who's there?" so the momentarily invisible Dead Bobby twists open the hot tap in the sink to fog up the mirror again, after which he scrawls out a "B," followed by an "O." "Bobby?" Dean bleats. YES.

SHIT! Stately Van Ness Manor. The Probable Gays get all jumpy when a sudden noise startles them.

Dead Annie's Motel Room. Our Intrepid Idiots babble stupidly amongst themselves until Darling Sammy somehow makes the connection between the flask and The Spectral Presence Of Bobby Singer. "We got to get back to that house!" Dean barks.

That House. Dead Dexter waddles on up to The Probable Gays, yelling, "You shouldn't have come here!" the entire time until Dead Whitman materializes to block The Probable Gays' screaming exit from the manor. And, after Dead Whitman again chides Dead Dexter for disobeying his orders, Dead Whitman rams his spectral fists into The Probable Gays' chests! DUN! From her nearby hiding place, Dead Annie watches on in silent horror as The Probable Gays shudder and jerk and hack up gouts of blood until they finally drop to the floor, never to annoy us again. Hooray! Dead Whitman then excoriates Dead Dexter for trying to warn his latest victims away, and when Dead Dexter turns to leave, petulantly claiming, "I can't watch this happen all over again!" Dead Whitman zips over to ram his spectral fist into Dead Dexter's incorporeal chest. For some bizarre reason, this makes Dead Dexter erupt into a cloud of glowy, golden...uh... ectoplasm, I guess? And in a very nice effects shot, indeed, that glowy, golden cloud of whatever first twines itself around Dead Whitman's arm before vanishing entirely into his body. I don't know what the hell just happened, here, and I'm almost positive we never get a satisfactory explanation for it before the evening ends, but it sure was pretty to look at. And when it's over, Dead Annie cowers in her shadowy corner of the foyer for a moment until she disappears into this evening's next CHOMP!-less commercial break.

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