Episode Report Card
Demian: A- | 7 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Go Where Angels Fear to Tread
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Rattle, Rattle BLOOD-RED THEN! As there's absolutely no attempt at narrative in the THEN! this week, I present you with a list: Lilith, sixty-six seals, Castiel, Anna, Alastair, Uriel, Show Barnes alive, Show Barnes attacked, Dean in Hell, Dean channeling Piper Laurie, Sam screaming at Princess Embolism, Show Barnes whispering words of great import into Darling Sammy's ear, Show Barnes dead, and finally, at long last, Darling Sammy with the darting psycho crazy eyes! Hooray! And I do hope you understood the importance of each item in that list, for there's no time for questions given the imminent arrival of the...

...Slashy, Slashy NOW! Barely has the NOW! a chance to advance forward on its way to vanishing when the soundtrack's assaulted by a cacophony of car alarms of every imaginable type -- and pity the poor sound effects intern who had to dig all of those up -- as the camera fades up on the scene of what appears to be a horrific, multi-car pileup. The agonizing racket continues for a full ten seconds of screen time until a very familiar trenchcoated figure marches into the middle of the catastrophic mess and raises his left hand. Instantly, the alarms switch themselves off -- the last with that aggravating chirp-chirp noise -- and I instantly decide I'd have no problems being an angel if the job comes with that particular ability. Awesome. In any event, once the alarms are off, we can finally hear the streaming rain that'd been falling this entire time along with some thundering rumblings overhead as the camera slowly pans around from my sweet baboo's back to take in his face, and gosh, Misha Collins is pretty on a high-definition television set. Sigh. There's little time to linger on all of the masculine pulchritude available to us at this moment, however, for Castiel immediately continues his march through the wreckage, his shoes crunching across the smashed windshield glass beneath his feet, until he reaches the fresh corpse of a white-clad blonde lying on the wet asphalt and... "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" shrieks Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon, writhing about upon his overstuffed armchair with unmitigated glee, for unlike all of the various injuries in last week's depressingly gore-free installment, the gaping wound Castiel reveals at the base of the blonde's throat is positively brimming with the good stuff. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

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