Out With the Old

Episode Report Card
Demian: D- | 4 USERS: A
You Guys Should Totally Come To The Hardy Boys' DJ Night!

Once all that's over and done with, Darling Sammy ambles over with a cup of coffee and a copy of that morning's Oregonian -- the former because he's evidently sworn off sleeping ever since Lucifer started yelling in his head again, the latter because it contains an article describing Poor Dead Irina's untimely demise. After establishing the fact that Darling Sammy's "hand thing" no longer works as far as Lucifer's concerned, Our Intrepid Heroes decide that Poor Dead Irina's untimely demise is probably their kind of thing, and with that, they climb into this week's crapped-out piece of automotive trash to motor on up to...

...Portland's Police Department Headquarters, where we rejoin them just as they enter to flash their fake FBI badges at the annoyed-looking desk sergeant they find therein.

Meanwhile, back in the station's evidence room, a miniature bitchy bulimic covetously eyes the bagged and tagged pair of toe shoes her officer father just placed on the table, and no, I don't know why the Portland police would consider Poor Dead Irina's vicious toe shoes as evidence in her untimely and bizarre death, and no, I don't know why the Portland police would allow one of their officers to babysit his preteen daughter in the goddamned evidence room, of all places, so I'll just shut up and listen as the miniature bulimic announces her intent to visit "the little girls' room," and...that's it? Yeah, that's it. Well, I'll throw in a DUN! just for the hell of it, but to be honest with you, my heart's not in it.

Back at the front desk, Our Intrepid Heroes finally get their hot little hands on Poor Dead Irina's autopsy file, which claims her "legs were shattered from extreme exertion." Still no mention of her missing feet, though. Not as far as I can see, at least, in the blurry freeze-frame I'm now staring at, but whatever. Sam and Dean agree that the situation is "weird," and with that, we head back to...

...The Little Girls' Room, where the miniature bulimic enters to find Poor Dead Irina's vicious toe shoes already waiting for her, right in the middle of the floor! DUN! Like, for real this time -- there's an appropriate sound cue and everything. The miniature bulimic gets a naughty, acquisitive glint in her eye, carefully closes the bathroom door, checks to ensure the stalls are empty, and plants herself on the tiles to strap those satiny delights onto her own two feet. You'd expect the miniature bulimic to freak the hell out when the slippers magically morph down several sizes to ensure a perfect fit, but as I believe we learned the last time we encountered cursed objects on this show, the nature of the curse in part ensures its victims ignore their better judgment as far as the object is concerned. Either that, or the miniature bulimic's just a little dipshit who deserves to die. Your choice.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP