Out With the Old

Episode Report Card
Demian: D- | 4 USERS: A
You Guys Should Totally Come To The Hardy Boys' DJ Night!

Meanwhile, Our Intrepid Heroes enter the evidence room and ask to see Poor Dead Irina's vicious toe shoes. Of course, they're nowhere to be found, so Our Intrepid Heroes quite naturally...

...barrel into The Little Girls' Room in a mad panic, with Darling Sammy howling, "Take those shoes off, now!" Unfortunately, the miniature bulimic finds herself utterly unable to comply with Darling Sammy's reasonable request, instead zipping up en pointe entirely against her will to spin around and around and around, much to everyone's obvious shock and dismay. Our Intrepid Heroes quickly recover themselves, however, and with Darling Sammy doing his level best to hold the miniature bulimic down, Dashing El Deano scrambles to strip the satanic slippers from the thrashing tween's feet. This of course leads to a round of wacky hijinks in which the miniature bulimic lands a couple of exceptionally well-placed kicks directly on Dashing El Deano's schnozz and, even though his nose should now be splattered all across his face, Dean somehow manages to withstand the assault with his prettiness fully intact, eventually ending up panting in a corner of the restroom with the offending toe shoes firmly in his grasp. "I'm going with 'cursed object,'" Darling Sammy guesses. "Ya think?" Dashing El Deano fumes, and as a hip 'n' groovy riff on that Swan Lake leitmotif kicks in on the soundtrack...

...Our Intrepid Heroes motor on over to "Out With The Old," which just so happens to be the cutesy name of the quaint antiques shop from which the vicious toe shoes were originally purchased. Dashing El Deano slides this week's crapped-out piece of automotive trash into a slushy parking spot adjacent to the store, then warily casts his eyes towards the car's backseat. "Didn't we put those in the trunk?" he asks, quietly freaking. Darling Sammy follows his brother's gaze, and is visibly surprised to find Poor Dead Irina's vicious toe shoes now lounging around atop the car's shaggy armrest. "How did they...?" Sam begins, flummoxed, but Dean cuts him off with a thoroughly wigged, "Cursed object, Sam!" before the two settle back for a moment to gape and goggle at each other. Eventually, Sam turns to glance at the vicious toe shoes one more time, whereupon he hesitantly wonders, "Do they look like they're your size?" "Shut up!" Dean immediately retorts for, as he quickly admits, he's been suddenly consumed by a strong desire to "Siegfried [himself] into oblivion." Before you go getting your hopes up, though, I'm afraid it's my sad duty to inform you there will be no Dancing El Deano during this evening's presentation. I repeat: No Dancing El Deano. I'm thinking about giving this episode an F for that very reason alone.

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